Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Rediscovering your first love...

This is going to be a post that is a little different from most.  Most of the time we post about our kids, or hubby's or the like.  This is something that may or may not happen to others, so I thought I'd just put it out there and see.

We're going to start out many, many a few years ago.  I was dating this guy (we'll call him Fred *not real name).  Well, long story short, we stopped speaking to each other.  Neither one of us really knew why or whether the other person hated us.  Until about 2 weeks ago.  I alluded to this in last week's Mommy Confessions post.  We connected again on Facebook.  With the go ahead from my more awesome than life hubby, we became "Facebook friends".  We've had many conversations since then as well. 

The thing is, I wonder if it was a good idea to chat with him.  Why?  Well, it brought back these feelings I hadn't felt for a long, long time.  Not anything of concern mind you, just giddy girl feelings.  Like I was temporarily back in high school and sneaking hanging out. 

I will be totally honest here and say that at first those feelings scared the bugeezees out of me!  I was thinking, should I feel like this?  Is it wrong?  Does this mean anything?  After contemplating for a while and talking it out with Chuck and a really good friend I figured out it is normal.  That it is okay, it doesn't mean anything and it isn't wrong.  I mean, this guy was my first love.  We dated for over 3 years in high school and our relationship ended abruptly.  Of course I would have questions, need answers, etc...

Now, flash forward to today.  We struck up a conversation via Facebook and you know what?  Those feelings were gone.  All of them.  What replaced them was a feeling a friendship.  Fred* and I hashed out why we stopped speaking and once we got through that a friendship began to form.  It's nice to have that.  I know a lot of people don't speak to, or have any contact with their exes.  I'm one of them!  This though, well, it feels okay.  He does know a lot about my family.  He knows a lot about me.  Those are both things that I appreciate!  Friends is a good thing. 

Sometimes rediscovering a lost love isn't a bad thing.  Sometimes they remind you of who you used to be and in doing so allow you to see how far you've come.  That in itself is a good thing to me.

4 comments:

  1. It was so nice to read this Kandi and not feel alone on this subject. I too recently (well within the past 4 months or so) found my "first love" on FB and though we just really added each other and didnt really talk, we had emailed each other once previously and when he let me know he still wasnt married and def. wasnt with the girl i thought he would marry that he dated after me, i felt some odd feelings..just like you described. Dont get me wrong, I love David with all my heart..it just brought up some of the past and it was weird. I got over it, though when his pic pops up with a status (which he rarely does) its strange at times. But I guess everyone has a first love and David already connected with his on myspace right before Aiden was born (OMG, and caused big drama with us..long story), so i dont feel so bad!! Thanks for sharing this!!

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  2. It was so nice to read this Kandi and not feel alone on this subject. I too recently (well within the past 4 months or so) found my "first love" on FB and though we just really added each other and didnt really talk, we had emailed each other once previously and when he let me know he still wasnt married and def. wasnt with the girl i thought he would marry that he dated after me, i felt some odd feelings..just like you described. Dont get me wrong, I love David with all my heart..it just brought up some of the past and it was weird. I got over it, though when his pic pops up with a status (which he rarely does) its strange at times. But I guess everyone has a first love and David already connected with his on myspace right before Aiden was born (OMG, and caused big drama with us..long story), so i dont feel so bad!! Thanks for sharing this!!

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  3. Thanks for "getting it" Ang! Since "outing" our blog I'm wondering how many people may read this and wonder/question me (or him) about stuff. I am truly hoping that isn't the case, but you never know.

    I actually took the extra step of making sure he was on board with the post before I even published it. I'm glad you like it!!

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  4. Thanks for "getting it" Ang! Since "outing" our blog I'm wondering how many people may read this and wonder/question me (or him) about stuff. I am truly hoping that isn't the case, but you never know.

    I actually took the extra step of making sure he was on board with the post before I even published it. I'm glad you like it!!

    ReplyDelete