The world really isn't against you.

The world really isn't against you.  Just saying.  I know it may seem like it is.  Or even better, that someone is out to get you.  What it really is is lack of training.



You may be wondering what that is about.  It happened again this weekend.  A's soccer coach got into a shouting match with the other coach and the referee's.  This time over what should have been a really awesome play in which someone unfortunately got injured.  It was an accident.  I was sitting right in front of it and saw the whole thing.  The coaches were at an angle, so to them it may have looked intentional.

A girl from our team was dribbling the ball up the field and she was flying.  I've never seen her move so fast.  She got close to the goal and started to shoot the ball.  At the exact same time the little girl playing goalie dove for the ball.  I'm sure you can draw a conclusion from here, but I'll play it out for you anyhow.  So, our player is moving quickly.  She saw the goalie dive and tried to stop, but couldn't.  Our player ran smack into the goalie and they both tumbled.  The goalie got stepped on and I know that hurts!  However, because of this the goalie also dropped the ball and another player of ours tried to score.  This is when everyone got all uppity.

The goalie was crying because she was hurt.  The little one who ran into her was upset that she had hurt someone.  The girl who had tried to score the ball after it was dropped was in tears also.  The refs were not there.  It was annoying.

Obviously the coaches were upset with the refs and that progressed to a shouting match.  Our coach pulled all the girls off of the field and threatened to not allow the girls to play.  Other things were said and that's when parents started arguing on the sidelines.

Let me just say right here that Chuck and I were NOT part of that.  Why?  Well, we hold ourselves to a higher standard.  Not to mention that we have a daughter that plays goalie a lot.  These types of incidents are more common than I'd like to admit or watch.  Especially when you have an aggressive keeper who isn't afraid to get run over or kicked.  Our daughter falls into this category and had a giant bruise on her cheek at the beginning of the season to prove it.  The bruise was from a cleat to the cheek.

The point to the beginning of this is that someone at some point said, "It's been this way all season for (my daughter's team) and they are out to get us".  Seriously?  I doubt that.  I mean, they may not like or appreciate all the fussing from the coach, but I doubt they are going to blame a bunch of 6,7 and 8 year old girls for it.  If anything, all the fussing and arguing probable turned some parents and kids away from the sport all together.  We have had big learning sessions from this game and the one I wrote about here.  It's been a rough season, but there have been good and bad lessons to be learned.
Make sure the referee's have proper training.  We had several excellent referee's and they knew their stuff.  I'm talking 6th and 7th grade kids.  The high school kids just didn't seem to give a rats patoot either way.I'm no expert in soccer and I don't claim to be, but here is what I saw as a problem this season.  I hope that in the off season the local SAY board will change a few rules and ways of handling things.

1. If a coach, parent, referee drops the F-bomb in front of any players they should be ejected from the game.  In the case of a ref or coach, they should not be allowed to be around those kids again.  I don't care who you are or if your parents sit on the soccer board.


2. There should be at least one adult referee per game.  In my observations, two young kids can get intimidated by the adult coaches and parents.  I never heard of an adult ref being questioned all season long.


3. Whistles.  They aren't just for show people.  Use them!


4. Yelling at kids this age scares them more than helps them.  Some cry very easily and will cry even if you are just trying to get them to focus.


5. Parents; we sign a contract at the beginning of the season stating that we read and will abide by SAY rules.  Did you actually read them or just sign and hand back the form?  In our house, we read them.  We also take them seriously.  Good sportsmanship relies on this.  Parents should NEVER cause a child to cry or be mean a player.  End of story.


6. At this age, soccer is about fun.  Heck, SAY's slogan is "Kids Having Fun".  Honest to goodness my favorite team to watch this season was the one in last place for the boys division.  Know why?  They played.  They played well and learned fundamentals.  They also had a lot of fun and a coach who didn't yell at them or was extremely competitive.  He would literally sit in a chair on the sidelines and direct.  I never heard a negative word out of his mouth.  Ever.


7. Finally, if your kid just doesn't like the sport, don't make them play.  Now, that's different than making them finish a season.  Ren just wasn't into soccer this year.  He isn't competitive by nature and this season just didn't suit him well.  Don't get me wrong, his team did fantastic and qualified for the area wide tournament.  He just doesn't like soccer as well as he used to.  No big deal.  We told him he must finish the season, but that he didn't have to play after this season if he didn't want to.  He's decided to hang up his cleats.  We support that decision.

All together, I'm thankful this season is wrapping up.  CS had a great season!  Her coach was great!  The parents were wonderful and the kids were so much fun to watch.  Ren's team won 2nd place and is going to the larger of the two tournaments in our area.  A's team, well, they qualified for the smaller of the tournaments.  I'm just hoping this one doesn't turn out like the last one.  I can't take anymore soccer drama.  My drama meter is tapped out.

My Summer Vacation

You know those horrible stories and essays you had to write on your first day of school about what you did on your summer vacation?  Here is mine for this year!

Last week we took the kids on our first ever vacation.  We had decided to do something small and local since it was our first time out.  We decided camping was something fun we could do!  Chuck and I love to camp.  It's one of the first things we had in common, even if our definitions of camping differed slightly (He liked tent camping, I liked camper camping). For our location, we picked someplace we both love and have been to many times.  Hueston Woods on the border of Ohio and Indiana and really close to Miami University.  Hueston Woods has a beach, plenty of camping sites, playgrounds, a nature center, lake, marina, horseback riding and plenty of trails for mountain biking and hiking.  I love it there!

This being the first vacation we've taken, we did it entirely tech free.  No lappys, no internet, no phone (exception to this being that it stayed in the car in case of emergency.  We aren't THAT nuts.). We had so much fun!  The kids were introduced to a new experience, we had loads of uninterrupted family time, and it was relaxing to boot.  For the most part anyhow.  Like any good blogger and Mom, I took along my Ipod Touch to write out some memories each day.  Here's some of the highlights of our vacation, be prepared to giggle.

• Apparently CS had gotten the same lisp A had at her age.  The whole time we were camping she talked on and on about roasting "Smarshmellows for schmorsh".


• We got out to the campsite and realized we didn't have our grill top.  Guess who had to drive back home just so we could cook dinner?


• It rained.  By rain I mean torrential downpour for around 30 minutes making everything at our campsite muddy and swampy.  Did it phase us?  Neh.


• After the grill top fiasco, we find out that the camp stove we have no longer works.  Thankfully Chuck and I are skilled in fire ring cooking.  Otherwise, we would have starved.


• We rented a pontoon boat for a day.  It was so much fun!  The kids had a blast and loved it.  They were so worn out on the ride back that the older two fell asleep.


• 


• Chuck played hide and seek with the girls for around 2 hours in one afternoon.  I've never seen them laugh so hard!


• 


• I took Ren for a trip around the lake and while out we encountered 4 deer!  Ren ask if we could take one home for a pet.


• We went to the beach every single day.  My little water babies were in heaven!


• We had so much fun teaching them about acorns (they were plentiful!), local fish, birds, fire and the like, that goes along with camping.  Nature is something to be respected and we made sure our kids were well aware of that by the time we left!

Now onto some of the oddities and such

• Did you know non-stop talking about Justin Bieber is the norm with tween girls?  I think I learned more about this kid just from listening to them chatter on at the playground then I ever cared to know.  Seriously.  It was super annoying too.


• I'm clumsy folks.  I just am.  I've been clumsy most of my life.  Yet nothing makes you realize just how clumsy your truly are like dropping every single clean dish you brought with you 2 days in a row.  Yup, I'm that good!


• When we camp, we don't use throw away utensils.  Everything is washable and is usually washed each and every meal.


• Always take some cash with you!  We wanted to buy some food from the place on the beach and they only took cash.  Chuck had to drive to the HUGE lodge at Hueston Woods, in his swim trunks, just to get cash out.  It was kind of a pain for less than spectacular food, but we'll remember for next time!


• Ren, in his daredevil ways, jumped off the play set and fell on his backside.  Which caused a rather large bruise to quickly appear on both of his butt cheeks.  He walked around the rest of the day saying his butt crack hurt.  It was funny (what he said, not the accident itself) and sad all rolled into one.


• Our first day at the beach, CS is playing so well in the sand.  I kept asking her if she needed to go potty and she just kept saying "no Mommy".  So, we head out into the water and she is content just to "bob" around in her life jacket and floaty.  It was then I noticed something brown floating in the water.  Yup, you guessed it.  She pooped.  In the lake.  I was mortified and quickly started splashing the poop away from us.  The only thing I'm super thankful for is that the beach wasn't very busy!


• The following day was when we took out the pontoon boat.  Well, CS decided pooping in Acton Lake shouldn't just be a fluke thing.  Oh no, not my little girl.  As soon as she jumped off the boat and into the water she pooped.  I wish I was making this up, but I'm not.  I'm embarrassed just writing it.


• 

There is a lot more to tell, but I feel as though I may have bored you enough.  Happy Monday all!

Wordless Wednesday

Yup, she's lost her front teeth

AND

*officially* became a first grader.

It's been an eventful week!

Why I love Dolly Parton.

Now, before you go thinking this is a homage to all things Dolly, it's not.  Well, maybe it is a little. 

You see, growing up I knew who Dolly was.  I lived with my grandmother growing up and she loved country music, so I knew Dolly on a musical level.  She's great!  To this day one of the few CD's to grace my van is Ultimate Dolly Parton.  Jolene is quite possibly one of my all time greatest songs, as is Coat of Many Colors.  Although that song is special to me because I had loads of hand sewn clothes growing up and was made fun of more often than not.  Don't worry, I'm not that scarred from it..ha!

Anyway, when we bought our house a few years ago one of the first places I took the kids was to the local library.  There I was greeted by the wonderful children's librarian who helped me get the kids set up with Mommy and Me reading times, etc.  Then she ask a question that was peculiar to me.  "Do you live in the "local" school district?"  I answered yes and her eyes lit up.  You see, about the same time we moved to our town, the Dolly Parton Imagination Library was just getting started. 

What is the Dolly Parton Imagination Library?  Well, to summerize it, Dolly started a foundation many years ago to make sure every child in her county in Tennessee would have books to help them gain a love of reading and help prepare them for Kindergarten.  Wow!  That alone goes straight to this bookworm's heart!  The best news is that over the years Dolly has extended her Imagination Library to the entire country and several other nations as well.  One of my favorite features is that within the age range required, ANY child can receive books.  Socioeconomics have nothing to do with a love of reading!

So, what did all of that mean to me?  Well, if you live in one of several school districts in our area, your child can receive books from the Imagination Library.  From birth until their 5th birthday my kids receive a new book each month.  They love it and we have quite a library!  I love that the first book each child receives is "The Little Engine That Could".  I remember this book from my childhood and love reading it to the kids.  They each have their favorite.  A loves "Pip and Squeak".  Ren adores "The Little Engine That Could" and "Otis".  CS loves the "Llama Llama" series of books and even claimed "Llama Llama Misses Mama" from Ren when he got it in the mail. 

Yes, I am so happy to be passing on the bookworm gene and to be honest I couldn't have done it without finding Dolly's Imagination Library.  The books we have received would have cost a fortune to go and purchase at the store!  I'm am so grateful and thankful to Dolly Parton for beginning her foundation and enriching children's lives and love of reading one book at a time! 

To see if Dolly's Imagination Library is in your town or area, click here or check your local library.  If not, please check out the site anyway and see how you can bring these wonderful books to your town!

I feel like I'm failing

Yesterday was a hard day for me emotionally.  The emotional drain caused me to be physically exhausted as well.  It just wasn't my day. 

So why the title then?  Well, I feel like I'm failing as a Mom.  I know it's not true.  Honestly I do.  Yet, after a day like this, I question it.  The day started out fine.  A was headed to Meemaw's for the night, Ren to school and CS just hangs out with me.  Pretty simple day. 

I took A to Mom's and headed to school to pick up Ren.  I walked in and there it was.  THE NOTE.  Notes aren't anything new to me.  I've gotten them all year long, but recently they have been for just small things.  Usually, the notes don't bother me and I use them to help us have a conversation with Ren concerning his behavior.  The notes also go with us to therapy each week and we can chat about them again there.  I read over the note and it wasn't that great.  I applaud his teachers for being able to deal with his behavior because if he had been at home it would have been a totally different story.  His behavior was very naughty, even extreme for him.  I immediately felt like a bad parent.  Rationally I know he was having a bad day, but this was top of the charts bad behavior and I was embarrassed.

On the way home, Ren's favorite song came on the radio.  I started singing along because, well, I love to sing.  What do I hear from the backseat?  A high pitched scream followed by "Stop singing Mommy Stop it NOWWWWWW".  I pull into the driveway and turn around.  He is sobbing.  I told him I would stop singing this time, but next time he needed to use his words correctly and ask nicely.  He immediately apologized and went into the house.  Then it all started over.  He was crying.  CS was bothering him.  He didn't like what was on the lunch menu.  To me, he sounded like a very tired little boy.  So, I put him in bed and he fought me tooth and nail.  I finally got him calmed down and let him know that he didn't have to go to sleep, but needed to have some down time in his room.  Once he felt like he could be a little happier he could come out and play.  About an hour later he emerged from his room.  He had been playing his Memory game and had calmed down considerably.

Then we sat down together and talked about why he had a bad day at school.  He said that he had made some poor choices (which are the words we are using with his therapy.  There are poor and good choices, not bad/good behavior.  Basically, it helps him realize that he is ultimately responsible for his behavior by his choices).  I was happy with this!  Then he hit me with the question "why don't I ever go to my friends houses Mommy?".  I was baffled.  This came from no where.

It dawned on me a while later.  We attend a small(er) preschool.  Most of the kids went through the 3 year old class and know each other really well.  Ren and a hand-full of others are new to the class this year.  He has seen a lot of play dates arranged, kids going home with others, etc for most of the year.  Yet, he's never been asked for a play date at all.  I've mentioned it casually to a couple of the Moms to have play dates at our home or a park or library.  Someplace neutral with less stress.  Most of them have said it sounded like fun but they had other dates scheduled or other plans.  I've never really pushed the issue and it didn't bother me.  I guess it bothers Ren though.  He gets tired of only having his sisters to play with and I understand (I only had brothers to play with until I was 8). 

Then I remember that most of the kids in his class have mentioned his tantrums to their parents.  They have ask if he is okay or was having a bad day because of something their child mentioned at home.  I'm okay with that, and will just say that he was probably having a bad day.  So when Ren ask why he never got invited to play dates I had no answer.  I don't know why he doesn't get invited.  Somehow though, it makes me feel like I'm failing as a Mom.  It makes me question everything about Ren's behavior and my own.  I wonder if he acted just a little more like a "normal" child would this not even be an issue.  Then again, it is only preschool and he will be attending another school next year, new friends will be made. 

All in all, it has just been one of those days where I have thought about everything, questioned everything and wondered why were we blessed with a different child.  Then, I look at his sweet face when he wraps his arms around my neck, plants a kiss on my cheek and tells me "Mommy, you're the best Mom ever" and remember that he's not different.  He's a perfect little boy who we have been graced with to love.  He teaches us and astounds us with his intelligence, humor and kindness for others.  Despite all my worries and fretting, I wouldn't change anything.  He's our Ren.  Everything we wanted and ask for.

Oh goodness, we're in trouble

If you have more than one kid, I know you've probably heard someone say that by the time you get around to disciplining the last one, you're out of energy.  I know when we were first told this Chuck and I laughed and said "No Way we're going to do that.  CS will get the same discipline as the other two".  WRONG! 

You see, we actually discipline our kids pretty much the same.  Time outs are our go-to problem solver.  Although, depending on the situation, we will count as well.  That usually (and I use usually lightly) solves our issue of the moment.  The problem arises when it deals with CS.  Yup, you read that right.  CS is the one who gets away with a lot more than either of the other two did.

Why?  Well, to be honest, I don't know.  I've been mulling over this the last few weeks and can't come up with a reason good reason.  She just gets away with it.  Oh, it's nothing big mind you.  The occasional not trying a new food or sitting quietly in time-out.  Nope, we don't get as uppity about those minor infractions as we did with the other two.  This leads to a whole other set of "Mom guilt" for being too hard on the other two, but I'm working through it.

I think  the main reason why she gets away with more is her personality.  When she's in time out she'll sit there for her 3 minutes and then we discuss (in 3 year old terms) what she did wrong.  The other night, she pelted Ren with a Hot Wheel Monster Truck.  Oh yeah, she was livid at him for something.  So, we put her into time out and soothed Ren's boo-boo.  Once she was allowed to get off of the naughty chair, we ask her to come and talk to us about what she did wrong.  She climbs up between Chuck and I and he says "CS, why did you hurt Ren with the truck?"  She responded "Because he's a stinker winker (she has this small rhyming thing right now).  We went on to explain that she hurt her brother and that it was very naughty to do something like that.  We told her she needed to use her words to vent, not just throw things.  She acted like she understood and then we ask her the BIG question "So, will you throw a truck at your brother any more?"  She said "Yes, if he keeps being a stinker winker".  See, honesty.  Now, we aren't condoning the truck throwing, but let's face it, they are siblings and they argue.  It happens.  Thankfully, no more truck throwing has happened ;-)

Her new famous line when caught being naughty is"but I didn't do anyting".  Really, I can go into the girls room and she will be wearing all of her sisters jewelry.  I'll ask her if she's been into A's jewelry box and this little on will look at me and say"Mommy, I didn't do anyting, I pwomise".  Sometimes, it's very hard for me not to laugh. 

She has also started twirling her hair when she wants something.  If she wants a snack she knows she can't have she'll go to Chuck and start twirling her hair.  Then she'll ask for what she wants.  If he says "No", then she turns on the hurt look.  If that doesn't work, then she usually storms out and heads to her room.  The she will stand in her doorway and peak around the wall, glaring at Chuck with the funniest mean face you'll ever see.  Then she turns on the charm.  She'll come back down the hallway and ask to "snuggle" with you.  Snuggles turn into lots of  "I love you Daddy" and "you're the best Daddy ever".  Honest to goodness I think this child was just born with the ability to suck up!  At the age of 3 she's really good at it already. 

So, like the title says.....if this type of thing continues, oh boy, we're in trouble in a few years.

Wordless Wednesday

Alright, I admit it, the post title is very misleading.  I'm just really used to typing Wordless Wednesday on this day. 

Anyway, today's post will be short, sweet and straight to the point.  Andrea is having some issues (that I will not divulge here, it's not my place).  Today, more than anything, please say a prayer for strength for Andrea.  Please include steady surgical hands and fast healing for Paisley.  That's all I want for today.  Prayers and thoughts.

Thanks!

Communication woes

I know I said I wouldn't talk about A as much on here.  I made a promise to her that unless it was something that I needed to discuss, I would only mention her.  Lately though, I've been having a personal issue with her.

I am finding it hard to communicate with my 6 year old.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I know, it's probably a normal Mom thing, but for me it is absolutely breaking my heart.  See, A and I have always had a love/hate relationship.  Why?  Well, I honestly believe it's because she is so much like me.  She's very headstrong, independent, quiet, shy, nose always in a book and full of opinions.  Like me, she rarely expresses her opinions to people though, for fear of hurting the other persons feelings or causing a controversy.  Both of those traits are exactly like me!  Now, on the flip side of that coin, A has always had a strong relationship with Chuck because of those reasons. 

At the tender age of 6, A and I have had HUGE disagreements over topics (see the headstrong part above).  I mean screaming arguments (I'm not proud of this, but it is what it is).  I'm also sure that to some extent this is normal.  Especially when you have two strong personalities that are so similar.  Lately however, things have changed.  She doesn't talk to me like she used to.  She doesn't come running in the door after school breathless just to tell me how her day was.  Now, she just walks in, takes off her backpack and gives me her folder.  Then she trudges off to change out of her school clothes and starts her evening.  No more "Oh my goodness Mommy, guess what?"  or "I did the best thing today". 

Maybe I'm at fault for not asking more, I honestly don't know.  I'm not even sure where to start at this point.  It's become so routine for her NOT to talk to me.  Yet, I miss our talks.  So, what's a Mom to do?  Do you have any suggestions?  I'm wondering if it's just her age or a stage.  Either way, I'm at a loss.

Letting go

Do you have issues letting go of sentimental items?  I do, well, a little anyhow.  I've learned over the years how to contain my sentimentality.  Take for instance, my kids little things.  How many of you keep kids clothes, toys, special little items that remind you of their baby-dom or childhood?  I do.  However, with three kids this can get out of hand quickly.  So, when Ren was born I came up with a solution.  I went and bought a plastic bin with a lid.  I put the sentimental things in this bin.  1 bin, for all 3 kids.  Not three separate ones.  My bin is full at this point, so if I want to add something else to it, I have to take something out.  It really has made me value what's truly important to remember. 

Yet, my delimma lies in A.  Before the holidays we cleaned out the kids rooms.  Letting go isn't an issue for Ren or CS, but for A it is.  I allow her to choose what to let go and we then take them to donate.  I don't always take things to the Goodwill.  Sometimes we give them to the preschool, or to the baby/nursery room at church.  Other times I take them to the local homeless shelter or the women's crisis shelter.  To be honest, it depends on the item and condition as to where it goes.

Well, a few nights ago, A broke down.  I mean sobbing.  Chuck and I were at a loss.  We had NO IDEA what was wrong with her.  This came out of the blue while we were having our down time before bed.  Once we got her settled, she told us what was wrong.  She wanted her small white bear with the red ribbon back.  Chuck, typical Dad here, had no idea what she was talking about.  I knew right away.  She had a bear her great-grandmother gave her.  It was white with a red ribbon that said "Kennywood" on it.  Well, she decided she wanted to donate it before Christmas.  So, off to the crisis center it went.  Now, she wants it back. 

We talked to her about the bear and she couldn't come up with a reason why she wanted it back.  She just kept saying "how do I get my toys back when I grow up Mommy?".  Oh, the pleas of a child.  How do you make them understand that when you are an adult, you no longer play with toys?  We told her that we would never, ever donate her most special toys.  That those will be with her forever (if you know her, we're talking Sally and Skittles here).  We also reminded her that she chose to donate it.  We also calmly told her how proud we were that she donates her toys she doesn't play with and that some other child now has something to love because of her generosity.  I know, kind of deep, but it seemed to work.  Then she ask about it again this morning. 

Our solution to the problem is one I came up with.  We will be donating toys again soon (our house rule is for every toy in, one goes out) and I think it's time A took the trip with me.  I realized that unless it's taking them to the Goodwill, I've never taken the kids with me.  Mostly for selfish reasons.  I just didn't want my kids exposed to the harsh realities of homelessness or abuse before they needed to be.  I don't think that's the case with A any more.  I think she needs to go and see a child with no home or toys be given something.  I believe she would have an easier time if she saw the smile on a the face of a child she doesn't know.  I think it's time my little independent spirited child be officially shown that life isn't always like ours.  A is a child who has always been wise for her age, so I think she'll understand.

 What's your suggestions for a solution?

6 years ago

6 years ago we were nervous, excited and anxious.

6 years ago we were on our way to the hospital.

6 years ago we had no idea something so wonderful was about to happen.

6 years ago we didn't know if you were a boy or a girl.

6 years ago we didn't have a name picked for you.

However,

6 years ago you appeared.

6 years ago the doctor forgot to tell me if you were a boy or girl.

6 years ago Chuck cried as he walked into the hall to tell everyone

"It's a girl and she's beautiful!"

6 years ago I was anxious to hold you, my little Peanut.

6 years ago we became a family.

6 years ago our world became a little brighter and colored with pink.

6 years ago one of the greatest blessings we've ever received made her debut into the world.

6 years ago was one of the happiest days of my life.

Happy 6th Birthday Peanut!

I'm so proud to be your Mom and love you "all the way to the Moon

.....and back"

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Remember when I mentioned...

Andrea and I have been introducing you to each of our kids over the last month or so.  A few weeks ago, I introduced you to my youngest, CS.  I believe in that post I mentioned something about her having a way of "getting back" at her sister and brother for making or angry or not allowing her to "get her way".  Well, here's proof of that fiery little temper of hers....

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That is one of A's favorite books!  It's a hand-me-down from her cousin.  Mariah held onto that book for years hoping that Chuck and I would have a girl and when A turned 3 she gave the book to her!  It was so sweet!  A treasures it.  It has a permanent place on her nightstand and she requests a story read to her several times a week from that book (they get books read to them nightly, but this one is read more often than not). 

Last weekend, I heard the girls get up and start quietly playing in their room.  As an over-exhausted Mom, I appreciated the gesture and just stayed snuggled in my bed.  I wasn't sleeping, I was just listening to my girls lose themselves in a world of Littlest Pet Shops.  Then it happened.  As it goes with girls (anyone with a sister will KNOW what I'm talking about), the arguing started.  It began as a simple "I want my Pet Shop to be here" and escalated from there.  Well, my nice warm bed became cold pretty fast as I started toward their room to break it up.  All was well when I left the room and I headed toward the kitchen to start breakfast.

That night, A ask for a different book, so I thought nothing of the missing Princess book.  Until I tucked CS into her bed.  I stepped on something weird under her bed.  I got down to look under and lo and behold there was the book.  My thought was "oh $%@!, how in the heck am I going to tell A about this one?".  Turns out, I didn't have to.  CS saw what I had and immediately started crying.  She knew she had done something naughty.  I pulled out the pieces and looked at A, who also started crying.  Then, CS got up and out of bed, walked over to A and told her she was sorry and then ask me if I could "fix her meanie".  (meanie = naughty behavior).

I told her I thought so, but that she had to help.  She agreed and the following day we sat together and taped every single piece back together.  Lesson learned?  I hope so.  No more "meanie's" for her, I hope, but I'm not betting money on it ;-)

Ren's diagnosis

A few weeks ago, I introduced you toRen.  During the little blurb I wrote I mentioned that we recently had him tested.  It was for a number of reasons.  To be quite frank and honest, hubs and I were at a loss.  We had tried everything when it came to teaching, discipline, attentiveness and just behavior in general.  We felt like parenting failures.  The first few weeks Ren was in preschool seemed to agree with our parenting failure.  He was misbehaving.  He was crying a lot.  He was...unhappy.  We were too. 

Now, I want to say that there were other things going on with Ren.  It wasn't just behavior, but for the sake of blogging, that's all I'm going to touch on.  Believe it or not, I may blog but I'm still quite a private person. 

To say Ren's behavior was out of control is putting it mildly.  He was beyond out of control.  During a pediatrician appointment, I mentioned that hubs and I were having issues surrounding Ren.  She suggested that we take him to a psychologist and have him evaluated.  So, we did.  The results both shocked us and didn't surprise us at all.

They came back that he had a "mild case" of Attention Deficit Disorder.  We weren't shocked by this at all.  Ren jumps from topic to topic when speaking.  He rarely sits still and demands attention all the time.  What the doctor said next took us completely by surprise though.  While explaining that Ren's "issues" could be handled easier since he was very young, he mentioned that he shows signs for ADD because he's bored.  What?  Bored?  Upon further explanation, he said Ren tested high on the tests as well.  When we ask questions the doctor said yes, Ren is in the gifted category of learners.  I. was. shocked.  I knew he caught on to lessons and concepts easily, I just never thought about it that way. 

Since having the evaluation, Ren is meeting every couple of weeks with a counselor whom he adores.  She is helping hubs and I with tools to help Ren with his behavior.  We are using a reward system for good behavior and now deal with him on a reasoning level more than the old "I'm your parent and you do it this way" idea.  The best part of all this is that it is working!  Now he can't wait to go to school and learn because when he has a "good day" he gets a coupon.  Once 5 coupons are collected he gets a bigger reward!  Of course, we have been adding more and more challenges to earn a coupon.  It's a terrific system!  We also reason with him more.  Instead of letting him know he did something wrong, we tell him what he did wrong.  We then give him examples of "good" behavior.  For example, instead of just screaming because his sister took his toy, he now says "please don't take my toy, it's not nice.  Give it back please".  The progress in the short time is amazing!  Our son has gone from a kid people avoided to a kid people like. 

 While we are thrilled with the diagnosis of gifted and finding new ways/techniques to help out with the ADD, we have some decisions coming in the next few months.  While Ren is excelling at Catholic school (just like his sister), the rules and regulations are a little hard for him to adhere to.  He's not a trouble maker or anything, but it was mentioned by the psychologist that we "might want to" look into a Montessori school for him.  They said Montessori's tend to challenge gifted kids yet are really good at keeping the attention of a child with ADD (especially one whose parents ARE NOT going the drug route). 

We haven't shared his results with everyone, but I'm sharing it with you.  Mostly because I am afraid of what family/friends may say about it.  Judging can be worst when it's by those you love the most.  We also don't want everyone to treat him differently just because of 3 letters.  What we are doing is continuing to raise our kids.  We're taking things day by day and utilizing the tools suggested by the therapist.  We're living our lives....

**I will update again about school and such as spring approaches.  Thanks for letting me share!**

Ren says...

Ren can say the cutest stuff.  Most of it is completely off the wall.  Some is just random observation.  Take yesterday for example.

He has a standing therapy appointment each Thursday.  As we walk in, we are alone in the waiting room.  Then, it starts to get a little more full as the time clicks closer to the hour.  In walks a nice guy who happens to serve in our own US Air Force.  He's there every week with his son as well.  I don't know if Ren has just never noticed or just shrugged it off, but this man is always in uniform when he arrives.  Well, this week was different.  Once he got seated, Ren looked over and said "Hey, look Mommy.  It's GI Joe".  I smiled and I'm sure blushed as I fumbled for the words to tell him that "no, it's not actually GI Joe".  That's when the guy smiled and said "Yup, I'm GI Joe little dude.  I fight Cobra every day."  Ren was thrilled and mumbled something about loving GI Joe and hoped he didn't see Cobra Commander.  The guy just chuckled and thankfully Ren was called back for his therapy right then.  What's a Mom to do in a situation like this?  What would you have done? 

Fast forward to dinner tonight.  We had "Hamburger Wagon sliders" (if you're local you KNOW what those are, but ours were homemade and so. much. better!), seasoned fries and green beans.  Dessert was on the menu for those who made a good effort at their dinner and the kids ate a lot.  Chuck got to play the hero and pulled out the cookies with icing that had been hiding.  Everyone is chowing down the cookies when I drop mine right down the front of my shirt.  Chuck never missed a beat and said "See guys, this is why we need to eat over our plates.  That way when you spill it falls onto your plate instead of in your lap". 

Right about then Ren pipes up and says......."unless you have a ramp like Mommy does".  I thought I would choke.  A ramp?  My 4 year old son just referred to my girlie bits as a ramp?!?  I was speechless.

This concludes my post with what Ren says....I'm positive more will come.  Well, worried actually....sheesh!

Wordless Wednesday ~~ Meet CS

This is CS.  She's my baby.  The youngest of my 3.  She is all the good things hubs and I are all rolled into one small little person.  Seriously.  She's laid back.  She laughs all the time.  She smiles at everyone and says "Hi Mister or Lady" as the gender requires.  She is very, very, very, very, VERY girlie.  She loves flowers, dirt, animals (except dogs which terrify her to the point of shaking), and life in general.

Honestly, I'm not trying to make her seem like sunshine and rainbows, but to us that's what she is.  She can make anyone in our family smile after the worst day.  She is the one who never allows anyone to leave our house without a hug and a wave.  She's also the first one to come running to the door when you arrive home. 



Now, on the flip side of her personality, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT get her on your bad side.  At the tender age of 3, she is already known for her silent treatments.  Seriously.  Oh, and make her angry and she will get you back.  When you least expect it.  Although that mostly just pertains to her brother and sister...LOL.



CS loves Barbies and Littlest Pet Shop.  She ADORES Disney Princesses.  Her favorites are Tiana, Snow White and Belle.  She loves them because they have dark hair like her.  She's a HUGE Team Umizoomi fan and speaks great Spanish thanks to Dora!  Books are her next love and she goes no where without a book in tow.  Singing and dancing are the newest things she's into.  She will dance all over the house. 

She still won't use the potty, but I'm not worried.  Oh, and she still can't sleep without her binky.  Through it all, she always wakes up with a smile and laughter soon follows. 

No Ren, you can’t fly…

Last night was an eventful one around our house.  We finished dinner, got everyone cleaned up and ready for bed.  Then we sat down to veg out with the boob tube for a bit.  The kids were playing nicely in Ren's room and everything was peaceful.  Then all heck broke loose. 

We heard a *thud* and heard Ren scream.  A comes rushing down the hall pale as a ghost and Ren is walking after her.  I saw some blood and immediately got up to get the band-aids and peroxide.  Boo-boo's are nothing new around here.  Well, Ren pulls his hand away from his head and I screamed!  Chuck jumps up and rushes over to him.  Our little man had gashed his forehead open.  According to A, Ren had been standing on his toy box and attempted to fly (like Superman) onto his bed.  Which is about 3 feet away.  Guess what?  He missed.

I'm going to give myself a small pat on the back here for being able to handle emergency situations with a panic-calm.  I picked up the closest clothe looking thing next to me (which happened to be a red pair of shorts...irony?)and pressed it to Ren's head.  Chuck took over from there and guided him into the bathroom and continued to hold it there.  I meanwhile, pick up the phone and speed dial Grammy.  My call was like this (use a half crying slightly hysterical voice here)"Grammy, Ren fell and gashed his head and I'm calling the ambulance.  I need you!!" and click, I hung up. 

Then I dial 9-1-1 and get the ambulance on it's way.  Should I have called them first, yeah probably.  I had 2 other kids to worry about though and in NO WAYwas I going to the hospital alone.  While hubs sat in the bathroom with Ren, I ran around and grabbed my purse, Ren's jacket and shoes, hubs wallet and my camera.  Yes people, I grabbed my camera.  Irony being what it is, Grammy and the ambulance showed up at the exact same time.  The EMT's come in, bandage his head and hubs and Ren head off to the hospital in the ambulance.  Grammy made me sit down for about 5 minutes and breathe before she allowed me to head to the hospital as well.  I love Grammy!  She stayed with the girls and got them settled (because it was tramatic for them as well!).

I headed to the hospital and met hubs and Ren.  The doctor in the ER told us stitches were in order and got Ren set up with some stickers, a coloring book with crayons, and a movie on the TV.  That settled all of us enough to be able to tell Ren what was coming next.  We tried to explain it to him, but as any parent knows, a 4 year old doesn't always understand.

When they came in to tactually put in the stitches, I had to step out of the room(I'm okay with other people's injuries, but it's a whole other story when it's my kid).  Hubs stayed with Ren, but I couldn't take his crying and screaming.  It tore at my heart and I stood right outside the room with tears streaming out of my eyes.  It only took a couple of minutes to finish and I went right back in to grab my little man and hold him to try to calm his sobs.  It was all very traumatic.  That is until the doctor showed back up with a big ice cream for Ren.  Then he calmed down quickly.

When we got home, Ren showed his sisters and Grammy his "battle wound" as he called it.  Then in true curious Ren fashion, he headed straight to the bathroom.  We followed him and ask what he was doing.  He proceeded to climb onto the steps and check out his stitches in the mirror.  He looked at them and said "Mommy and Daddy, these are awesome!  I can't wait to show the kids at school".  Sheesh.  All that drama and he thinks they are the coolest things ever!  Ah well, that's my little man.

Moral of the story:  Kids can't fly. 

 I took this pic this morning.  He's smiling...lol

Wordless Wednesday ~~ Meet Ren

Meet Ren!

Following on the heels of A, Ren made his appearance into family 18 months later.  He's a super helpful, curious little boy.  He always wants to know more information, whether it's how something works or why we do something.  Asking questions is his thing.  He loves Hot Wheels, Monster Trucks, Lightening McQueen, Lego's and anything to do with construction(like road building, home building, etc). He's 4 and so excited to be 4!  He adores his preschool and loves his teachers.  Writing has become his new thing.  He recently started writing his full name and other words, since then he's always asking for a pencil and paper to practice with.

Ren has had a couple of set-backs in his life.  He couldn't hear for the first 16 months of his life.  Two surgeries and some early speech intervention and he's fine!  His hearing has been tested and it's almost perfect at this point (yay!!).  He was also recently diagnosed with mild ADD.  This diagnosis wasn't anything we didn't already suspect.  Ren can't sit still, he's always full of energy and has some trouble focusing(more on this in a different post). To go along with his mild ADD, he's also on the gifted charts.  We knew he was smart, all our kids are, but this one caught us a little more by surprise.  I'll go into this one in more detail later as well.

Halloween party overload

It's Friday!  I think most people are looking forward to this weekend.  Halloween parties, trick or treat, and general sugar craziness.  For a select few Moms though (read Andrea and I), we are stressing in a big way.  Why?  We overloaded ourselves....again.

Today both of us have parties to attend.  A is having her fall party at school.  About a week or so ago a note came home and said "would you like to help out with the party?".  I thought it would be fun and checked the "yes" box.  I should have stopped myself there, but instead I had a moment of insanity idea that just volunteering to help wouldn't be enough.  Nope.  Not me.  I also checked the box to bring cookies AND juice.  Fast forward to this week and to put it bluntly, it's been a doozy (more on that later). Usually, I would make the cookies from scratch.  I had planned on making Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that were featured over at $5 Dollar Dinners.  Last night though, I found myself at Kroger loading up on 4 boxes of bakery cookies to take today.  I forgot the juice.  So, guess which Mom is going to make a frantic run to Kroger for juice right before the party (hand waving). I feel like I slacked on this, but honestly, does it matter?  I am taking cookies and juice to the party!

Now, I called Andrea this morning and she IS super-Mom.  As I was talking to her she was entertaining the two littles AND finishing up the treats she is taking for Scarlett's party.  Being the awesome Mom she is though, she also made treats to take to Evan's class.  While Evan's class isn't having a party, she still thought treats would be nice (I fail in a big way compared to her...lol). At the exact moment I called, she was cutting licorice.  For hair.  For the treats.  To add to her Halloween party overload though, she also volunteered to help out at the class party.  Oh, and bring a small craft for everyone to do.

Why do we feel this need to do this to ourselves?  Are we losing our marbles?  I know for me, it's because A begged me to help out her classroom and I said yes.  I have a feeling it was probably that way for Andrea too.

Happy Halloween everyone!  Don't overload yourselves on candy!

______________________________________________________________

I just have to add this. I am actually heading out the door to go to the store and buy more icecream cones I hand painted the ones last night and lets just say as a parent I would be PISSED if my kid came home with the kind of mess these would make.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Meet A

Yes, I get that Wordless Wednesday is supposed to be about a photo or picture with no words.  For the next 7 weeks though, Andrea and I will be introducing you to each of our kids.  We realized that Mommy Confessions Blog is about our families, but that you may not know which kid goes with who and so on.  This is week 1 and I'm going to introduce you to A.

A is in kindergarten and 5 going on 15!  She's a sports girl with a passion for anything art, crafts, design related.  She loves to read and is 100% a Daddy's girl!  Over the next while you may see her mentioned, but probably not any "exclusive" posts as she requested I not write about her anymore (I think this has something to do with a couple of her friend's Moms reading this...Hi! btw!!).  This is A in her fall portrait, taken by me and enhanced with Picnik!

We had a Princess night!

A while back, Andrea posted about Disney Princesses on Ice coming to our area.  My mind immediately said "oh yeah, we are so there!" Just let me say, Disney knows how to put on a show!  We all went.  Yes, all of us including hubs and Ren.  Ren loved it.  His favorite part was the "fight scene" between Beast and Gaston, oh and singing "Hi Ho, It's off to work we go" with the 7 dwarfs.  All the kids loved that part actually.  The dwarfs appear on stage and the you hear a "Hi Hoooooo". CS stood up, spread her arms and yelled "Hi Hoooooo" right back!  So adorable!

Now, I won't go and spoil the whole show for you, but let's just say that Tinkerbell and Fairy Godmother make the show extra magical.  On a personal level, I adored it!  I mean, what little girl didn't grow up wanting to be a princess?  I know I did!  Snow White and Cinderella were my favorites growing up.  For this one magical night, I caught myself smiling, participating, laughing and generally acting like my little girls were.  It felt wonderful.  I was at a show that made my kids eyes sparkle.  They participated by clapping, singing and waving.  They laughed at the evil step-sisters in Cinderella (who are hilarious btw).  We gasped when Fairy Godmother appeared and cried when the evil step-sisters tore Cinderella's dress apart (which is a little harder to watch in real life than on a movie).

The finale is phenomenal!  I'm not giving that away here, but it took my breath away!  The dresses, the princes, the shear talent of ice skating in those dresses are all awe-inspiring!  If you get an opportunity to attend a Disney on Ice show, don't pass it up!  In true Disney style, they are fantastic!  Here are a few pictures I took

[slideshow]

You can follow this link to find a Disney on Ice show in your area.  For those of you in the Cincinnati area though, the Princesses will be arriving tomorrow!  Here is the information.

Disney's Princess Classics is coming to US Bank Arena Oct 6-10 you get to SAVE $4 ON ALL PERFORMANCES! by using CODE: MOM2 Restrictions: Not valid on Front Row or VIP seats; limit 4 per transaction; no double discounts. Here is the Ticketmaster Link to Cincinnati Disney On Ice: http://www.ticketmaster.com/venueartist/180631/821550

***I received tickets from Feld Entertainment for providing the discount information and review of Disney on Ice presents Princess Classics.  The opinion of the fantastic, exciting and awe inspiring show are my own!***

I want to add in our experience also. ~

I (Andrea) took my oldest 2 on Sunday and all I have to say is WOW.  Scarlett dressed up Cinderella. She was so excited just to have a reason to wear it out. We kept it a BIG secret from her. Once we got there you should have seen her eyes. Both Evan and Scarlett sat so focused on the show. You never heard a peep from them.  At one point Scarlett looked at me and said "Mommy I love this. It is so beautiful. " Nothing like the perspective of a 5 yr old. It just brought tears to my eyes.

I was a little skeptical of taking Evan to it as it was Princesses. But Evan LOVED it also. It was a great show. And for all the men out there complaining that they don't want to go you will not be lacking in EYE CANDY on the stage.

I am sure you will enjoy it as much as we did. Thanks Feld for this chance to make some AWESOME memories with our kids.

Mommy Confessions ~~ Ren says it...

You've seen posts about Ren.  He's my precocious 4-year-old.  He just started preschool last week.  He already has the "back to school" summer cold that seems to be making the rounds in this part of Ohio right now.  He is the middle child, only boy in a family with 11 girls (this is A and CS plus my 9 nieces), and 100% All-American little boy.  He loves classic cars, trains, and is really into construction equipment right now.  Yes, he's a typical 4-year old little boy.  Right down to the less than tactful way he says things.  Especially those things he knows better because they have been labeled "naughty" by us. 

Here is the latest example.  This happened today when A had a doctor's appointment. 

We are running late, which is highly unusual for me.  Yet, this was the very first time I've ever signed A out of school and it took FOREVER, but I digress.  Anyway, we are running about 5 minutes behind.  We head into the office and straight to the waiting room.  I sign A in and tell the kids to sit down and play with the toys they brought in.  A gets called into the room and she heads off.  (Just in case you are wondering, no I didn't go with her.  It's her dermatologist and she was just seeing the nurse for a check on her hand.  No big deal, no needles, just a once over and we were on our way).

Well, while A is back in the room with Nurse Joyce, this lady comes in.  She is wearing hospital scrubs and is looking like she is exhausted.  Ren is casually sitting near the sign-in sheet playing with his Hot Wheels.  The lady goes to sign in and bends over.  It is right then that Ren looks at me with his eyes like saucers and says "Mommy lookie, that lady has a BIG booty".  I wanted to die, fade into the wall paper, anything but be right there.  I hushed him and said "We don't say things like that Ren".  To which he said "But Mommy, that lady in the purple shirt has a really BIG booty.  Didn't you see it?"   Why won't the earth just swallow you up when you need it too?  Instead, I quickly knelt down and explained that "booty" is a very hurtful and naughty word.  That it makes people's heart hurt when someone uses hurtful words.  He shook his head in understanding and told the lady he was sorry.  She smiled and said "It's alright, I know it's not small".   At least she had a sense of humor right?!??!  Sheesh!