Saturday was my high school's "all classes reunion". Sounds like fun right? I mean, didn't everyone have friends from other classes and graduation years? I know I did! I read the invitation and thought, wow, that could be cool.
Saturday rolled around and we were off. Now, let me say that my high school was on the smaller variety. I believe there were around 180 graduates from my year. My parents and aunts all graduated from the school. As well as most of my cousins. Growing up I knew lots of my parents friends. I went to school with their kids and well, I just thought that's the way it worked. Everyone knew everyone and that was how it was.
For me, I LOVED high school. I was quiet, shy and a bookworm. I had a circle of friends I could count on and loved (most of which I'm still friends with today!). I was in the color guard (you know, the ones with the flags beside the marching band), band, choir, and LOVED English, science and history. See, told you I was a Dork.
I went to school with a whole lot of great people! I remember a lot of them fondly, some not so much. So, when the invite for the reunion dropped into my inbox I thought, I'm there.
Hubs and I entered and immediately, I saw my Mom. Of course, she's chatting it up and wants to introduce me. Okay, fine. Grudgingly Happily, I oblige her and meet someone who today I can't recall or even remember what she looked like. I started looking around and didn't see anyone I knew. Right about then, hubs said he was starving, so we headed to the restaurant and sat down for dinner (which was FANTASTIC!). Mom came in and finished my plate ate and then we all went out into the huge crowd again.
It was right about then that the feeling hit me. It was like I was transported back to 1990-something and all my crazy teenage thoughts entered my head. I was suddenly self-conscious again. I smiled a lot and shook my head, yet words failed me. I felt about 16 again. It was during this time that I did see someone I graduated with. I caught their eye and smiled. What did I get back? An eye roll and they continued walking. WHAT? My self-esteem plummeted. I felt like I was back in high school and still the quiet, loser I used to be (by the way, this is just my personal opinion of myself, looking back I know I wasn't that at all!!) I shrugged it off and continued visiting with people from my past.
It wasn't long after that hubs and I left. We only had a babysitter for so long and both of us were tired. When we walked outside the venue, hubs turned to me and said, "What's wrong with you?". I looked at him and replied "Have you ever felt like the biggest, shyest, dorkiest loser ever?". He gave me a wierd look and said "Maybe back in school, but not any more. Is that what's wrong?". I said "Yeah, I feel like I just time-warped back to high school". Thank God my hubs is awesome because he said "well, you MAY have felt that way, but you're not. You haven't been like that since I first met you. Don't let one person who never outgrew high school bring you down." He was RIGHT! I laughed and we walked on to the Swagger Wagon.
I look back at Saturday night and I honestly DID have a good time. I laughed a lot. Saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in years. I saw a lot of teachers (also grads from my high school) and thanked them for helping guide me into my future. I may have felt like a zero for the space of about 5 total minutes, but the night as a whole, was a success. I will attend another year and I will walk in, head held high and remember that while others may have gotten stuck in their high school roles, I moved on and grew up. I'm proud of who I am and what I've become.
***Disclaimer--This is just my opinion of myself and my experience at the event. SO, if you were there and got something totally different out of it, great! I just don't want anyone to get the wrong impression about the event itself. It was wonderful. The experience in this post was the 5 or so awkward moments comprised in an evening spanning around 3 1/2 hours.***