Kandi's Confessions

I know it's been a while since I've posted.  I'll be honest, I've been on serious burn out mode for a while.  When we started blogging, I had lots to post about.  It was fun.  However, as time has passed it was becoming more of an obligation.  A job without a paycheck, so to speak.  While that's fine for most of the time, I got a serious case of burn out.  I've had nothing to say or exciting for a while.  My apologies for not being here, but I hope you all understand.  It was nice to not have to think about what I/we were posting for a while.  It made my schedule a little more flexible and I liked that.

Anyway, here are my confessions for the week.

• I've been pretty busy this week.  Except yesterday.  Yesterday CS and I took a 3 1/2 hour nap.  That hasn't happened for a long time!


• I have had a friend on my mind a lot this week.  She is about to experience a loss and will need strength to get through it.


• I've been having pregnancy dreams.  You know, the ones that are really vivid but make no sense whatsoever?  Yeah, those.  No, I'm not pregnant.


• Chuck and I have been spending the last 6 months or so really focusing on ourselves.  Not the kind of focus where we change our hair or diet or anything like that.  The kind where we are spending time together just talking.  We were both very tired of the "living in the same house but not really communicating" thing.  I can say without a doubt that this is the closest we've been in a long time.  The best part, it trickles down.  The kids are behaving better.  The house is in decent order.  We actually have time to do things.  We've become the team we used to be, but had allowed to slip by the wayside.  Not happening again.  We are back on equal footing and it's going to stay this way.


• We're trying to decide whether to get a XBox Kinect or Wii for the 'family gift' this holiday season.  I see the pros and cons of each but it's really going to come down to money.  I can't see spending oodles of money on something that we are going to limit to a couple of hours per week.  That just seems wasteful.  While we love our electronics, we aren't attached to them.  No playing on games for hours on end in our house.  Feel free to share your opinion!


• We will be putting up the Christmas decorations this weekend.  Call me crazy, but I don't rush this holiday.  There is an actual reason for it, not just gifts and shopping.  Nothing goes up in our house until December 1.  Until then, we are focused on fall and giving thanks.  A month of thankfulness doesn't end just because Thanksgiving is over.


• Since my "break" from blogging, I've been spending more time with people one on one.  It's been really great and I've even added a few new organizations and causes to spend time on.  I have to something for me.  I can't spend all my time cleaning, cooking, shuttling and taking care of the kids.  I need time to do things that I enjoy.  After all, this is showing my girls that Mommy has a life outside of "Mom-land".  It's important for me to show them that.


• We've had all 3 of the kids conferences recently.  All are above average and excelling.  I'm so thankful for terrific teachers and the ability to be involved in the kids schools.

Well, I think that's it.  If you have an opinion on the whole XBox/Wii thing, let me know!  Have a super weekend everyone!

Kandi's Confessions

As I'm sitting down to write these my house is full of laughter and silliness.  I'm watching a sweet friends two little boys.  They are the sweetest, most polite little men I know!  I love having them over to play!

Here's my confessions:

• I am thinking of getting my hair colored today.  I want to add some auburn highlights.  Since I was outside so much this summer my hair was highlighted by the sun.  My natural highlights are auburn and a little golden blonde.  Sadly, they are growing out and I want them to stay.  So, off to the stylist I will go!


• We just found out this morning that hubs boss is leaving her job for a new one.


• I have been a total house bound person this week.  I got a lot of cleaning done though.  That's a good thing!


• I cleaned out the garage last Sunday.  Yes, I said I did it.  Chuck was cleaning out the gutters and preparing the yard and such for winter.  I think I may actually be able to fit the van in there once we hang all the bikes up.  That. would. rock.


• I bought myself a pair of 5 inch heels for our date night this weekend.  Yes, I realize I may break my ankle.  I've been 'breaking them in' all week long.  Which is why I cleaned the house.  Things look a LOT different from 5 inches higher.  :)


• I'm going to be very honest here.  Writing just isn't as easy to do anymore.  I used to love to write little stories about the kids or life.  However, as the kids are getting older, my life is getting busier.  It's hard to sit and write.


• The two year old that's hanging out at my house today is hilarious!  I mean it.  He's the funniest kid ever and he doesn't even realize it.  I just spent the last 10 minutes playing "this little piggy" with him.  I haven't laughed that hard in a while!

Well, I think that's it.  I wish you all a good weekend and if you're local, go check out Family Friendly Cincinnati.  They have all sorts of holiday fun posts right now!

My kids are readers.

We have this 'issue' in our house.  Well, technically it's not an issue.  It's just what we do.  We read.  We read a lot.  Each of kids has their own, rather big, collection of books.  There are bookshelves in every room, including the playroom.  We have a reading issue.  :)

All this reading has led to some success for our family.  We recently found out that A has the highest reading score in the entire 2nd grade (at her school).  You should have seen her beam when her teacher told us about it.  Out of our three kids, she is the avid reader.  She loves Junie B. Jones, the Rainbow Magic Fairies and is really getting into the Magic Treehouse series of books.  Non-fiction is a big hit with her as well.  Right now she's reading about the American Revolution.  Books (and soccer) are her things.

Our little man is a great reader as well.  I'm especially happy for this.  He has been able to read since he was about 3 1/2 or 4, but he never really liked to do it.  He would rather have a book read to him than to read it himself.  Now, he's found a couple of book series that he really likes.  Bad Kitty is his new favorite followed closely by the George Brown series.  He loves both of these series because they are funny!  He reads some pages to us each night before bed and, I can't lie, I have laughed at more than I probably should have.  There is just something hilarious about a 6 year old reading about a 'super burp'.

Then there's CS.  She loves anything Barbie or Princess related.  Go figure right?  Although, she did get to do something super special recently.  A while back I wrote about the Dolly Parton Imagination Library and what it meant to our family (read about that here).  Sadly, CS graduated out of the program last month when she turned 5.  She was sad that she wouldn't be getting any more books in the mail.  Then we got a call from our local community foundation.  They are the ones responsible for bringing the library to local kids.  Anyway, they were calling families who had kids that were just graduating out of the program.  We happened to be home and answered the phone.  Cool!

The foundation invited us to join them in celebrating the distribution of the 50,000 book to area children.  They ask if we would allow CS to be the honorary 50,000 book recipient.  Excited and humbled were what I was feeling.  The night of the event, CS turned on the charm.  They ask for her to come onto the stage and receive a few gifts.  One of which was the cutest books shelf with train bookends.  It is adorable (I still need to find a permanent place for it).  She also received autographed copies of two of our families favorite books (btw, I'm not just saying that, we actually LOVE these two books and I was elated when she was presented them).  LadyBug Girl and Bumblebee Boy by Jacky Davis and David Soman and Otis by Loren Long were the books she was given.  There were other gifts as well, like a bag to carry books to and from the library and a Shakespurr stuffed animal.  Shakespurr, a lion, is our local library's mascot.

The thing is, other than encourage and read to the kids, we haven't really been too strict on what they can and can't read.  We have allowed them to find their own way into the love of reading.  In my opinion, as long as they are reading, it doesn't matter if it's a comic book, classic, or a book about a super burp.  Reading is reading and reading is great!  Now, if I could just get those Kindles that A and I want......LOL.  Christmas is coming correct?

Do you encourage reading in your house?  How do you do so?

Kandi's Confessions ~~ The 'oh snap it's Monday' edition

Okay everyone.  I'm not going to even sugar coat it.  I just haven't been in the mood to write lately.  It's not for lack of things to say or write about.  It's that instead of writing about life, I've been out living it.  In other words, it's been busy around here.  It's only going to get a little busier as the holiday season fully kicks off.  Although, I'm not one of those people who rushes Christmas.  I wait until Thanksgiving has come and gone to put up the tree or any type of decoration.  Call me weird, but I think that big ole turkey deserves his season as well.  :)

So, here's my confessions.

• I have 2 posts to write for this week.  Both are product reviews and I'm really excited about them both.


• Last week was exhausting.  Mentally.


• Fall festival was held at A's school last week.  It was a lot of fun and reminds me of why I'm thankful I'm not the PTO President.  I do not want that kind of pressure.


• Ren's soccer team came in 2nd place in our area tournament last weekend.  This weekend we headed to Cincinnati for the state soccer tournament.  His team lost in the first round, but I'm so happy for those boys.  They played a great season.  Thankfully, Ren has decided to officially hang up his cleats and retire from soccer.


• I've had conferences for two of the three kids at their schools.  Both are doing very well and are well above where they should be.  I'm thankful we took time when they were small(er) to read to them, teach them, and make education a priority.


• Chuck lost his grandfather over the weekend.  He was a sad, but he didn't really know him.


• The crazy part about the loss of his grandfather was his Mom's confusion.  She called and told him on Saturday and then mentioned she wasn't going to the services.  Chuck ask why and she didn't really give an answer.  That wasn't enough for me and when I ask her she said it was because he passes last week and had already been buried.  Then we find out that no, his grandfather actually passed on Friday and services are this week.  His Mom's confusion is getting worse and worse.  Heck, she hadn't even mentioned the passing to Chuck's brother, with whom she shares a home.  I want to step in so badly, but don't feel it's my place.


• This morning I'm quite thankful that we started the 3 gifts for Christmas rule when the kids were smaller.  I've already heard people complaining about their kids having the "I wants".  Mine have them too, but more defined.  They know exactly what they want and have already made ti known.  Now to figure out how to get the money to pay for it.  LOL.  The have expensive tastes this year.


• I have been fighting the urge to be a snarky biotch lately.  It's a mind of mouth game.  The mind is winning right now.


• Ren's behavior has been awful lately.  We aren't sure what to do.  I think we need to go back to therapy, but our new insurance makes it impossibly expensive.  Like $100 a visit expensive.  That may not seem like a lot until you factor in that he was going weekly and A was going to help with her short term memory loss.  Our monthly bill could easily be $600 a month.  That's a lot!  Insurance makes me crazy (and I've been on the 'professional' side of this issue too and it's just as frustrating from their point of view).


• In other news, A starts going to the orthodontist in January.  This should be fun.


• Chuck told Ren the other day that if he didn't brush his teeth better that his teeth would fall out.  Well, he lost a baby tooth a day or two after this chat and got very upset.  On the plus side, he brushed his teeth better than usual the rest of the week.  (Side note:  We allow our kids to brush their teeth on their own and use a timer to make sure they are brushing for an adequate amount of time.  We then go and 'check' their teeth.  We want them to learn good habits and the skills to do it themselves, but we also want to assure they have clean mouths and teeth).

Well, I think that's all for today.  I wish you all a good week!

Teaching commitment, how far should we go?

Chuck and I are in the middle of a disagreement.  Not a terrible one.  Just a small one that we both have views on.  This disagreement is different in that we can also see the point of view of the other person and it's valid as well.  Here goes:

Ren is playing soccer.  He just doesn't like it this year.  However, we told him he must finish out the season and follow through on the commitment he made to us and his team.  Once the season ends, he no longer has to play.  He has already decided that this season will be his last.  We're okay with that.  He is ready to try something else and t-ball is right up his alley.  He has terrific hand/eye coordination!

The dilemma and conflict sets in here.  Our typical SAY soccer season has ended.  CS was finished 3 weeks ago and A played her last tournament game 2 weekends ago.  Ren's team, well, they are pretty awesome.  They qualified for the area tournament which had them playing SAY teams from the surrounding communities.  That started 2 weekends ago and carried over into this past weekend.  He played the semi-final game and the finals (against the only other team from our community to go to this tournament).  These last two games were in the rain and it was frigid.  He. was. unhappy.  After the semi-final win, it was mentioned that the team has qualified to go to the state tournament.  Wait, what?!?

There is another small, side issue to Ren's soccer season worth mentioning.  Ren didn't play to his fullest this year because he was just over it all.  This has brought on ridicule and general meanness from a few of the boys on the team.  He has been told by the other kids that he is 'stupid, an awful player, the reason why they lose, among other things".  We did bring it up to the coach and he chatted with the boys in question, but things still get said out of earshot of the coaches.  Ren's self esteem is suffering and for a kid that already deals with being different, this isn't helping.

Back to the "his team is going to state tournament" issue.  We are divided on what to do.  On one hand, we feel he needs to see his commitment through to the end.  I mean, he may not be the best player on the team, but he does try hard and helps out.  He has been to every practice and even sat on the sidelines and cheered when he was out due to pneumonia.  He was committed to his team and has celebrated each victory (and two losses) with the rest of the team.

On the other hand, he is so over soccer.  He missed his sister's birthday party this weekend because of tournament games and that tore his heart apart.  Thankfully, he had a small 'window' between games and he and Chuck rushed home to help sing "Happy Birthday" and grab a cupcake.  We also have this issue with the kid who has said something to him.  We believe this child is only repeating what he has heard someone else say, but we are unsure of this.  We just have a hard time believing a 6 year old could come up with those things on his own.  I will be chatting with the coach again this week and I'm also taking it to the next level and pulling the parents aside as well.  It's also cold and Ren has already had pneumonia during this season.  I'm not sure I want to risk him getting sick again.

We don't have the details yet as to what "state tournament" requires, but we aren't sure Ren will be participating.  We want to chat with the coach and see what he feels.  We ask Ren about it and he just wants to stop now.  I think he needs to follow through and finish the season.  Chuck says to chat with the coach and allow him to step aside.

What are your suggestions?

Kandi's Confessions ~ The I'm lazy because it's raining edition

Yes, you read that correctly.  It's raining.  This morning after the older two left for school and hubs left for work, CS and I snuggled back up in "Mommy and Daddy's big bed" and took a 2 1/2 hour nap.  I feel wonderful, but behind in what I had planned out for today.  Anyway, onto the confessing.

• Have you entered our Girls Crochet Headbands giveaway yet?  You haven't?  Well, head over and enter here.  Trust me, they are too cute NOT to get some!  I ordered some for both my girls and cannot wait to get them!


• Yesterday it was 80 degrees in Ohio.  It's been really nice all week actually.  Then today it has rained and it's only about 50 degrees.  Fall in Ohio is wonky.


• I mention the weather because I really would have enjoyed it staying warm for 2 more days.  Sadly, soccer tournaments tomorrow will be freezing.  The high for the whole day will only be around 55 or so.  Layers and more layers!


• We had an impromptu photography session last evening.  A lot of the pictures came out great.  Some not so much.  Hubs still isn't great at focusing.  However, we let A take a few pics of just hubs and I.  She did a good job for a 7 year old!


• Speaking of pictures, my camera is failing.  It's a FujiFilm Finepix that's about 4+ years old.  I have used it.  A lot.  Now when I zoom there is a scratching sound and it takes longer to get the picture in focus.  Basically, I've used it so much that it's about to die.


• I really want an SLR camera.  I took a couple of photography classes in college and have gotten to play with that type of camera in the past.  I really want one, but the cost is not budget friendly.  Especially for those who are not using it for money making reasons.  I have started a fund for this one (like I did my FujiFilm), but it may take a few years to get all the money saved.  That's the downside and positive side of a cash only budget.  You may want something, but you need to save to purchase it.  No impulse buying on credit!


• We have soccer tournaments this weekend and then we are officially done with soccer for the year.  Yay!  Bring on baton lessons, swim, karate and preparing for Select soccer.  I'm tired thinking about it.


• I'm attempting to make sweet and sour pork from scratch tonight.  I hope it goes well.


• My cousin got married today.  I'm so excited for both of them.  They are great people and have been together for a long time.  Yay!


• CS turned 5 yesterday.  I cannot believe she's 5!  She is a pretty happy little girl though.  She got an Our Generation doll from Target and several outfits for her new doll as well.  So far she's received $30 in cash for her birthday and is telling anyone who will listen that she's rich.  How I wish $30 in hand meant I was rich!

Well, I think that's it.  This has taken a while to write but distractions, phone calls, door knocks, and a grocery run interrupted.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

My girls recently attended a birthday party at a local paint your own pottery place.

Check out the information about the location in this Family Friendly Cincinnati post.

Here are some of the creations by the kids at the party.

Aren't they great!

The world really isn't against you.

The world really isn't against you.  Just saying.  I know it may seem like it is.  Or even better, that someone is out to get you.  What it really is is lack of training.



You may be wondering what that is about.  It happened again this weekend.  A's soccer coach got into a shouting match with the other coach and the referee's.  This time over what should have been a really awesome play in which someone unfortunately got injured.  It was an accident.  I was sitting right in front of it and saw the whole thing.  The coaches were at an angle, so to them it may have looked intentional.

A girl from our team was dribbling the ball up the field and she was flying.  I've never seen her move so fast.  She got close to the goal and started to shoot the ball.  At the exact same time the little girl playing goalie dove for the ball.  I'm sure you can draw a conclusion from here, but I'll play it out for you anyhow.  So, our player is moving quickly.  She saw the goalie dive and tried to stop, but couldn't.  Our player ran smack into the goalie and they both tumbled.  The goalie got stepped on and I know that hurts!  However, because of this the goalie also dropped the ball and another player of ours tried to score.  This is when everyone got all uppity.

The goalie was crying because she was hurt.  The little one who ran into her was upset that she had hurt someone.  The girl who had tried to score the ball after it was dropped was in tears also.  The refs were not there.  It was annoying.

Obviously the coaches were upset with the refs and that progressed to a shouting match.  Our coach pulled all the girls off of the field and threatened to not allow the girls to play.  Other things were said and that's when parents started arguing on the sidelines.

Let me just say right here that Chuck and I were NOT part of that.  Why?  Well, we hold ourselves to a higher standard.  Not to mention that we have a daughter that plays goalie a lot.  These types of incidents are more common than I'd like to admit or watch.  Especially when you have an aggressive keeper who isn't afraid to get run over or kicked.  Our daughter falls into this category and had a giant bruise on her cheek at the beginning of the season to prove it.  The bruise was from a cleat to the cheek.

The point to the beginning of this is that someone at some point said, "It's been this way all season for (my daughter's team) and they are out to get us".  Seriously?  I doubt that.  I mean, they may not like or appreciate all the fussing from the coach, but I doubt they are going to blame a bunch of 6,7 and 8 year old girls for it.  If anything, all the fussing and arguing probable turned some parents and kids away from the sport all together.  We have had big learning sessions from this game and the one I wrote about here.  It's been a rough season, but there have been good and bad lessons to be learned.
Make sure the referee's have proper training.  We had several excellent referee's and they knew their stuff.  I'm talking 6th and 7th grade kids.  The high school kids just didn't seem to give a rats patoot either way.I'm no expert in soccer and I don't claim to be, but here is what I saw as a problem this season.  I hope that in the off season the local SAY board will change a few rules and ways of handling things.

1. If a coach, parent, referee drops the F-bomb in front of any players they should be ejected from the game.  In the case of a ref or coach, they should not be allowed to be around those kids again.  I don't care who you are or if your parents sit on the soccer board.


2. There should be at least one adult referee per game.  In my observations, two young kids can get intimidated by the adult coaches and parents.  I never heard of an adult ref being questioned all season long.


3. Whistles.  They aren't just for show people.  Use them!


4. Yelling at kids this age scares them more than helps them.  Some cry very easily and will cry even if you are just trying to get them to focus.


5. Parents; we sign a contract at the beginning of the season stating that we read and will abide by SAY rules.  Did you actually read them or just sign and hand back the form?  In our house, we read them.  We also take them seriously.  Good sportsmanship relies on this.  Parents should NEVER cause a child to cry or be mean a player.  End of story.


6. At this age, soccer is about fun.  Heck, SAY's slogan is "Kids Having Fun".  Honest to goodness my favorite team to watch this season was the one in last place for the boys division.  Know why?  They played.  They played well and learned fundamentals.  They also had a lot of fun and a coach who didn't yell at them or was extremely competitive.  He would literally sit in a chair on the sidelines and direct.  I never heard a negative word out of his mouth.  Ever.


7. Finally, if your kid just doesn't like the sport, don't make them play.  Now, that's different than making them finish a season.  Ren just wasn't into soccer this year.  He isn't competitive by nature and this season just didn't suit him well.  Don't get me wrong, his team did fantastic and qualified for the area wide tournament.  He just doesn't like soccer as well as he used to.  No big deal.  We told him he must finish the season, but that he didn't have to play after this season if he didn't want to.  He's decided to hang up his cleats.  We support that decision.

All together, I'm thankful this season is wrapping up.  CS had a great season!  Her coach was great!  The parents were wonderful and the kids were so much fun to watch.  Ren's team won 2nd place and is going to the larger of the two tournaments in our area.  A's team, well, they qualified for the smaller of the tournaments.  I'm just hoping this one doesn't turn out like the last one.  I can't take anymore soccer drama.  My drama meter is tapped out.

Kandi's Confessions ~ This has been a weird week edition

This has been a weird week for me.  Here's why:

• I took CS for her 5 year check-up and while there found out she has walking pneumonia.  This kid has said nothing and shown no signs of being sick.  I was shocked.  I also felt like the world's worst Mom.  Why didn't I see something different?


• Did you know that without a cell phone you lose contact with lots of friends?  I guess it's the whole "everybody texts" thing.  All I know is that it's going to be a bit before a cell bill can fit into our budget, so it's back to landline only for me.  My nice iPhone is now a glorified iPod Touch.


• The biggest downfall to no cell/texting is that I've heard nothing from the kids soccer coaches all week.  I took Ren to practice on Tuesday, but it had obviously been cancelled.  Ditto with A on Wednesday.  Any idea what it's like to prepare a fast dinner from scratch, eat, rush to get soccer gear on, rush to the practice fields and only then find out you're the only car in the parking lot?  Yeah...


• I went through my super old blog over the weekend and read stories about house hunting and the kids.  I started writing that blog before CS was even born, so it was a time warp.  I also shared too much information about my kids names and where we lived, etc.  Thankfully it's a private blog now, so no one can see unless you ask.


• We deviated from our normal weeknight routine this week.  That won't happen again.  The whole family was out of sorts and they blamed me.  Obviously we are all type-A.  haha.


• I feel guilty when I don't post for a few days.


• I have found a new show that I love.  It's on PBS and called "Call the Midwife".  Love it!


• Chuck's family added a new baby last night.  Congrats to the new parents!  He's such a cutie!


• I've gotten 2 of my 3 kids school pictures back.  Ren's are great and he suddenly looks so much older.  A's are good too, sort of.  She popped her fake smile on her face and the photographer snapped the picture.  A has a good fake smile, but her real smile is so wonderful!  Her real smile has dimples on her cheeks and a cleft in her chin.  None of those things show in her fake smile.  I ask her why she pulled out the fake and she said because it was only a 'school picture' and doesn't matter.  Guess she didn't realize I was going to hang it on the wall.  :)


• CS and her bff got to hang out this week.  Those two girls are a force when together.  Look out world, they will charm you!


• It was a big birthday week around here.  A's bff and CS's bbff (boy best friend forever) both celebrated birthday's.


• Next week CS turns 5.  I looked at her today and wondered how she got to 5 so quickly.


• Best quote of my week, thanks to CS was "Mommy, you're my favorite creature".  Thanks to Disney and the Octonauts!

Well, I think that's it.  This is our final weekend of regular season soccer and then it's on to tournaments.  We will also be heading to HallZOOween this weekend and that should be loads of fun!  Have a terrific fall weekend!

Line drying

This isn't going to be a long post, but more of a question.

Do you line dry your clothes year round?  This is assuming, of course, that you line dry your clothes.  I ask because unless there is a lot of snow on the ground or it's raining on laundry day, I do.

Now, don't go thinking I'm one of those Moms who hangs everything on the clothes line.  I'm not.  I do hang a lot of clothes out, but there are a few exceptions.

• Jeans


• underthings


• bright clothing


• Jeans (oh wait, I already said that one, but it's worth mentioning twice).

I do love to hang sheets and bedding out on the line year round.  I was ask why and I couldn't come up with an answer.  I think that by hanging our clothes and the amount of recycling we have each week, that my neighbors think I am a bit odd.  Not that recycling is odd in my neighborhood, it's not.  It's that while most of our neighbors have the small recycling totes, we have the huge recycling can with wheels.  It looks like the rolling garbage cans, but it's green and bit smaller.  We are the only people on our block with one.  Then again, it's worth noting that we are also the only people on our block with children.  The neighbor "kids" are in college or grown.  Oodles of empty nester's in my 'hood.

I got off track, so back to my original question.  Do you line dry clothing, bedding and the like year round or just in the summer when it's hot and the sun is brighter?

I'm really curious about this.  Maybe because I want to know I'm not alone.

Red Cards, Rules, and Attitudes (in other words, a soccer post)

It's no secret that all 3 of my kids play soccer.  A is in her 4th year, Ren his 2nd (and last) and CS is playing her first year of candy league.  Soccer is fun and my kids play through our local SAY organization.  Usually games are fun, exciting and the kids all have a good time.  This weekend was different.  A's game got WAY out of hand and it went downhill.  Quickly.

Here's what happened (and it includes last week too).  Last weekend A's team had a referee that didn't use her whistle.  At all.  This particular referee was also 10 minutes late to our game and then informed the coaches that she would cut a quarter from our game to "keep the games on schedule".  The coaches from both teams were like "um, no.  You were late.  That's not our fault and our girls will play their entire game".  Well, both coaches were yellow carded for disrespecting the referee (or something like that).  However, our game was played in full.

This week, the same referee was at A's game.  Guess who still had an attitude from last week?  Yup, the teenage ref.  Again, she wasn't using her whistle, so the girls didn't have a clue what was being called during the game.  They didn't know when to kick off (because she'd just stand there and tell them to go), what was a corner kick versus a goal kick, etc.  Basically, our girls won't stop playing unless a whistle is blown.  Even if the ball is out of bounds.  We are talking about 6-8 year old girls here.  They are learning still and part of the referee's job is to teach them.  Which is why they have jr. high and high school age kids doing this job.  It's still about fun at this age.

So, halftime ends on Saturday and the game starts the 3rd quarter.  The girls ran the ball down to the goal and when one of the girls shot for the goal it went wide and out of bounds.  Our girls weren't sure what was going on and the referee didn't blow her whistle.  She picked up the ball and placed it in the corner for a corner kick.  However, she didn't tell any of the girls what was going on and they were waiting for her to make a move.  That's when our coach yelled "Will you blow the whistle so the girls know what's going on?".  Well, that was it.  The referee immediately pulled out a red card and started yelling at our coach.  Our coach yelled back and it escalated from there.

Now, know that I'm not blaming anyone here.  Our coach should not have yelled back once the referee pulled out the red card.  However, a warning and yellow card are usually pulled out before a red card.  Anyway, the yelling got worse and worse.  It finally culminated in the referee yelling at our coach something that included the F-bomb.  Yup.  You just read that.  The teenage referee shouted the F-bomb on a soccer field that included parents, coaches and most of all 16 little girls.

Here's the deal.  There were many, many wrongs in all of this.  First off, the referee should have used her whistle.  Second, our coach never should have reminded her since she already had a chip on her shoulder from last week (yes, I do know this for fact because at one point she came off the field to her Mom and said something to her about how she couldn't believe she had to ref. for "that coach" again this week.  Her Mom was seated next to me). Once the red card was pulled our coach should have just thrown his hands up and gone to the soccer board members who were present at the fields.  There should never have been a shouting match between the coach and the referee, it's bad sportmanship.  The biggest thing that got to me was the dropping of the F-bomb.  All the other things the girls saw could be teaching moments about the value of being a good sport.  How not to allow your temper to get the best of you and why it's important to listen to the ref. even if she/he aren't using their whistle.  The potty language cannot be explained away.

Finally, it's a soccer game.  Yes, the girls are competitive and passionate about their sport.  Yes, the parents are cheering and rooting on the teams.  Yes, the referees are young and in most cases learning about the position of referee.

However, being a teenager doesn't give you an excuse to drop the F word.  Ever.  Those little girls are looking to you for guidance in learning a sport.  Not taking time to apologize to the parents and girls doesn't make it any better.  The referee did apologize to our assistant coach.  I just think she should have taken it a step further and used it as a teaching moment.   Our head coach took the time to apologize to the parents of both teams and the all girls before leaving the field.  He knew he'd gone to far and wanted to make sure we all knew.  He used that moment to teach the girls about it too.  I'm sure there will be more discussions from the head coach at practice this week.

Now, in personal ramifications, A is very upset by all of this.  We sat down with her Saturday evening and had a talk about what happened and her concerns.  She was worried she did something wrong.  She was also concerned with what will happen to her coach.  She said she still likes soccer, but hopes that particular referee isn't at any more of her games.  She said she scared her because of the way she yelled.  Basically, she internalized a lot of what happened.  Which was NOT. HER. FAULT. or any of the other girls on the field.  Ultimately, we used it to further teach her about good sportsmanship and help her understand why what happened wasn't the best of choices, but that sometimes things happen.

We're hoping it made a difference, but we won't find out until the game next weekend.

Wordless Wednesday

I wanted to share a few more of the pictures we took

during our hiking outing this weekend.  Tell me

what you think!

[caption id="attachment_6288" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Copyright Mommy Confessions Blog"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_6289" align="aligncenter" width="272" caption="Copyright Mommy Confessions Blog"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_6290" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Copyright Mommy Confessions Blog"][/caption]

School picture drama or why I wish our school had uniforms

It's that time of year again.  School pictures.  I haven't had a bad experience with school pictures yet.  Never a re-take, never a bad picture.

This year may be different though.  Most of this is Mom craziness, but hopefully you'll get it.

Let's start with Ren.  He had his pictures last Friday and they were easy peasy.  I went into his dresser, pulled out a shirt with a collar and ask him if he liked it.  Of course he said "sure Mommy" and that was the end of it.  I did sign him into school about 5 minutes late, but that was for hair reasons.  He wants to grow his hair out from the usual high and tight he wears.  Therefore, to get it to lay down it requires gel.  Which he has yet to master.  It is quite cute to watch him fix his hair each day.  On others he just lets it stick up at every direction.  Having a boy is so much fun.

CS, well, her very first picture day is next week.  I am really excited about this.  I know, it's corny, but still exciting.  With her, she is getting a new shirt to wear.  Why you ask?  It's easy.  95% of her clothes are hand me downs.  Okay for everyday but not cool for pictures.  The shirt she wants to wear is the exact same one her sister wore for her preschool picture.  She likes it because it has purple hearts on it.  The shirt is pink though.  She's not really happy with the shirt color.  Her favorite color is purple, so I'm taking her shopping on Friday to pick out her picture day shirt.  I'm hoping to find something purple and not gaudy.  This could get hard since she's 4 and most little kid clothes are splattered with designs and what not.  Wish me luck!

This brings us to A.  She has to look 'just so' this year.  I'm going to assume that second grade brings on a whole new realm of this.  Last year it was laying out something cute and then pulling some of her hair up with a hair clip.  Not this year.  I ironed 3 different shirts for her.  Laid out matching accessories for each shirt.  I even went so far as to pick out shoes to match each shirt, you know, because shoes are always shown in school pictures {rolling eyes}.

What happens?  She gets up and decides that she wants to wear a sweater with a tank top underneath.  Both the sweater and tank were brown.  The background for her pictures is brown.  I casually mentioned that particular outfit may be too much brown and she gets angry.  Move on to the pink plaid shirt.  Oh, she likes it, but she always wears pink for her pictures and wants to 'change it up' this year.  Truly, I'm exhausted and I just wrote that.  Ha!

Finally, her decision was to wear a really cute green shirt with off white polka dots.  Accessories for hair were nixed.  Her cute necklace?  That's gone too. (I tried to take a picture to post on here, but the batteries on my camera are d-e-a-d.  Guess who's heading to the store later today?)

Don't get me wrong, I spent a good portion of my morning with the curling iron in hand making sure her hair was laying 'perfect Mommy'.  I don't want her to feel badly about her school pictures, so I curled the ends under and gave her a bit of a wave in the front.

She left the house looking exactly as she wanted to.  I stayed in the house and now need a nap.

If you have to be good at something...

Yesterday was a banner day in our house.  Ren discovered he is the best in the whole world, or at least on his bus, at something.

Each afternoon, I head outside to wait for Ren's bus to drop him off.  In an effort to foster his independence, I don't walk all the way to the bus stop.  Which really, isn't that far.  It's one house away.  Anyway, I will usually head outdoors 5 or 10 minutes before the bus arrives to delve into a few pages of the book I'm reading. (Just in case you're wondering this week I've been reading 'Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess).  It's hysterically funny.  Seriously.  I was laughing before I got through the first page)

The bus pulls up to the corner and Ren comes rambling down the steps onto the sidewalk.  Usually he runs to our house, but today he is walking.  Since having pneumonia, he is a bit slower.

He comes walking up the driveway and says "hey Mommy, guess what?"  I put the book down and ask "What?".

It's at this point I'm expecting him to say 'chicken butt' because this is one of his favorite jokes to pull on me.  Instead he says "I found out I'm the best at something today."  It's about now that I get a little excited.  He's the best at something, oh, I wonder what?

So I ask.

He answered.

I know you're dying to know what he is the best at correct?  Well, here it is.  Ren discovered he is the best at hand farting.  I wish I was joking.

Now, you wonder what hand farting is?  Apparently it's when you press the palm of your hand to your mouth and blow raspberries.  How do I know?  Well, I ask for demonstration folks.  Yes I did.

Hey, sometimes figuring out your great at something is big deal.  This probably wasn't one of those times, but I made it one anyhow.  I posted it on Facebook.  I called Grammy.  I allowed him to call Chuck and work and share in the fantastic news.

I figured it would backfire.

It didn't.

So, I guess if you have to be good at something, hand farting isn't the worst thing.  At least I hope he doesn't try to make a career out of it.

Pneumonia sucks.

I meant to post something yesterday, but frankly, didn't.  For those super parents who can have sick kids at home and still get something posted, I envy you.  I can't.

Ren has been so sick for the last week and a half.  It started off a a sinus infection and quickly went downhill.  What we've wound up with is pneumonia.  Not just any pneumonia.  A 'wow, we have only seen 2 or 3 cases like this' pneumonia.

So, you're wondering why it sucks?  Here it is.  Ren is grumpy.  Not your normal grumpy mind you.  He's a raging, crying, my life sucks and I hate you grumpy.  Ren is NOT like this.  Ever.  It's killing me to see him like this.

Ren is normally very active and a little more sensitive then other boys his age.  Right now all he wants to do is sleep and sleep some more.

In the last week he has:

1. lost 5 pounds.  Literally.  He weighed 58 pounds last Monday.  Yesterday he weighed 53.9.


2. Almost stopped eating.  I'm of the camp that says any calories are better than nothing at all.  So, yesterday, when he got two shots, I got him a milkshake from McD's.  Last night I got him to eat some rice that I had piled with butter and Parmesan cheese.


3. He's not very active.  This is the weirdest part of all.  My little man doesn't sit still.  Ever.


4. I promise you that if this is his way of getting out of playing soccer, I am not amused.


5. He woke up this morning, ate some eggs and toast and went right back to bed.  He's been asleep for around 2 hours.

With all of this being said, I am going to try to get some posts written up tonight after he's in bed.  I can't promise anything, but if I skip a day this week please understand.

Kandi's Confessions

I haven't done a whole lot this week.  Here goes anyway:

• Ren has pneumonia.  He is never my 'sick child'.  For him to feel this terribly is scary for both Chuck and I.  Thankfully his pediatrician rocks and has him on the correct medication to get him healthy.  He hasn't been at school all week and it's been running to the pediatrician and hospital for various tests.


• CS is in love with preschool.  She adores it.  I knew she was excited to *finally* start school, but I didn't realize how well she would be doing.  I'm so happy that all 3 of my kiddos love school!


• My Cincinnati Reds could win the NL Central title tonight.  I haven't been this excited about the Reds in a while.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm no bandwagon fan.  However, I've cheered through good and bad times.  This is definitely a good time!


• We are trying to figure out how to get to one more Reds game before their last game next week.  Chuck and I want to take CS to her first Reds game.  Earlier this season we took the other two, but this time it's going to be just her.


• Chuck is getting more and more settled in his job.  As he does he is realizing how lucky he is to love his career.  He is reminded every day what it looks like to dislike your job.


• This weekend A and Ren have soccer games.  It's also our weekend to provide snacks to Ren's team.  Sadly, with pneumonia, he can't even play.  So I am going to take the snacks to the game and wish his team well.  While some would shirk this duty, I won't.  Those little guys play too hard to do without.


• Since being home with Ren all week, the house is really clean.


• However my errands and volunteering are slacking.


• This is one of those moments when you put your priorities in check and realize your kids are the most important.


• I really really really want a new vehicle.  My Sienna is 14 years old and is missing some of the more modern minivan touches.  I just don't know if I want a crossover or a new minivan.  I see the benefits and downfalls of both.


• It got chilly this week and I pulled the kids pants from this past spring out of the closet.  Here's the run down; Ren has gotten a LOT taller.  While his pants fit around the waist, they look like capris.  A needs a larger size for both waist and length.  CS, well, she just wears hand me downs.  She is still at the age where that doesn't bother her, thankfully.


• We are planning on doing family pictures in the next two weeks.  Our clothing choices have to be changed though.  I assumed it would still be on the hotter side, but it's gotten fall-like faster than I anticipated.  Whoops.


• A lost her homework today.  She seems to be doing that a lot.  It's worrisome.  She will do her homework, put it in her bag and then lose it before she gets to school.  I wish I was kidding.

Well, I think that's it for me.  I have oodles of errands to run today.  Plus, a lunch date with Chuck at work.  Yay!

Have a great weekend everyone!  Go Reds!!

I need to learn how to receive a compliment

Do you know how to take a compliment?  I do not.  I don't know how to do lots of things and this is a big one.  Recently, Chuck has made it his personal mission (or at least it feels like that) to teach me how to receive a compliment.

For clarification, I can receive a compliment.  Especially if it's an occasion where I am dressed nicely.  I will smile and say thank you or compliment the person back accordingly.

I'm talking about the every day stuff.  Take earlier this week for instance.  I made a meatloaf for dinner.  That isn't something I typically make so I spent oodles of extra time making sure to get everything just right.  I sit dinner on the table and dish it out to the kids.  Within minutes they are all telling me how great it is.  Even CS, who is my picky eater, is eating it.  Chuck takes a bite and his eyes light up.  He looks at me and says it's one of the best things I've ever made.  What do I do?  I tell him that it's missing the gravy instead of thank you.  Yup, I dismiss the compliment.  I do this all the time.  It doesn't matter if it's about my cooking, parenting, looks, helpfulness, the list goes on.  I want to say thank you, but I also don't want to seem like an arrogant woman either.

The thing is, I'm not sure this is all that uncommon.  I hear, women in particular, dismiss compliments all the time.  It's like we're scared to just say thank you and go on.  When compliments are doled out we either dismiss them or feel the need to immediately return the compliment.  Do you have issues receiving a compliment or am I alone in this boat?

Wordless Wednesday (I can't actually do it without words)

I know our trip to downtown Cincinnati happened last month,

but I thought I'd share some of the pictures I took from that weekend.

Enjoy the scenery.

Wordless Wednesday ~~Soccer season!

I thought I'd share a couple of soccer photos.

[caption id="attachment_6193" align="aligncenter" width="158" caption="She means business! "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_6194" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="He was defending. Great job Ren!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_6195" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My future Olympic goalie. At least that's what she tells people. "][/caption]

My parenting style, or lack of

I have several posts whirling around inside my head this morning.  It's not just kids schedules, to do lists, grocery lists and menus up there.  I know, I'm shocked too.

This weekend I sat down and really thought about my parenting style.  Only to realize that I really don't have a 'style'.  At least, not a popular one covered by the media.  Tiger Mom, helicopter Mom, free range Mom....I'm none of those.  I'm more of a normal, everyday day.  You know, the types that don't get media attention.  Unless they go off the extreme deep end and I won't even go there.

In thinking about this I decided I'd put it down in a list.  I love lists!  I figured out that there are some things I am extremely type A about.  Others, not so much.  I also decided that since this blog is called 'Mommy Confessions' and all that knowing this Mommy's parenting style may help figure out why some of the stories and posts are hilarious, while others are not.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret from the get go.  I'm the more laid back parent.  Chuck is the enforcer.  We didn't plan it this way.  It just happened naturally and is based off of our own upbringings.  His Dad was strict, very strict.  I was raised by various family members and none of them were called "my mom or dad".  Rules schmules in my home.  It's easier for him to be the Greg to my Dharma.

Here's my parenting style...revealed.... :)

1. I am not my children's friend.  Oh, I listen to them and offer advice but friendship will come later.  Right now I am one of two people responsible for shaping them into productive human beings.


2. The whining stops here.  Nothing and I mean nothing makes me cringe more than my kids whiny voices.  I require them to speak in 'big boy or big girl' voices to ask for something.


3. I never spoke 'baby language' to them.  Ever.  I believe that to have children who speak clearly and with confidence you need to do so as well.  None of this "oh, widdle CS hab a poo poo".  Nope it was "CS, do you have poops in your diaper?".


4. Our kids don't have the latest and greatest of toys, electronics, etc.   I want them to use their imaginations.  In my house books far outweigh toys.  (exception to Barbie and Thomas the Train.  We have oodles of those.  Mostly hand-me-downs).


5. I believe kids will do things in their own time and in their own way.  There is no need to push and pressure them.


6. Develop each child's personality as much as you can.  I'll admit that this one is bringing me issues this year.  Ren just isn't into soccer anymore and tells us at each practice, game, etc.  Which leads me to my next rule.


7. If Mom and Dad pay for a sport or activity and you change your mind, tough.  Money doesn't grow on trees and until it does then our kids are obligated to continue a sport or activity to conclusion.  After that they can choose whether to play or participate again.


8. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.  Thank you Kate Gossling (I know, back before all the drama).  I am not a short order cook and if you don't like what I prepare then see you at the next meal.  Thankfully all 3 of mine will eat almost anything you put on their plates, so this rule hasn't been enforced often.  I love that we have adventurous eaters.  They will try anything once.


9. Try 3 bites.  Along the lines of the above rule, when something new is introduced each one of them is requested to try 3 bites of it.  If they still don't like it after 3 bites then they don't need to finish eating it.


10. I like loud.  I like giggling.  I like playing.  I don't compromise on those 3 things.  Chuck prefers quiet, so they get out all the sillies before he gets home and then proceed onto quieter activities.


11. I shield the kids from bad and adult stories/things.  I'm happy that my 7 year old daughter has no idea who Justin Bieber or the like are.  Why should she?  She's 7.  No need to hurry the "cute boys are great" thing.  It will get here soon enough all by itself.


12. Body parts are called by proper names.


13. Furniture are not toys.  No climbing, swinging, sliding, or jumping.


14. Unless it's given to you, it belongs to Mom and Dad.  Respecting other people's property and belongings is something a lot of people don't do anymore.


15. Manners, manners, manners.  Please, thank you, yes ma'am, yes sir, pardon me, etc are all being reinforced.  I know some disagree but in my experience manners will get you places a lack of them cannot.

Okay, so I guess I sound a little harsh.  Maybe I am a little stricter than I realized.  Some of those rules are from me, some from Chuck.  The thing is, we both agree on all of them.  Exception to the whole loud thing.

I will say that we also dance, make up silly songs, laugh, twirl, shake our groove things, sing loudly and really off key, and generally have a good time.  Our kids know the rules and what is expected of them.  Whether they choose to use them and follow them is their choice.  When they break one, the consequences are known as well.

Do you have silly rules or strict ones?