Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Schooling Mom ~~ Is this bullying?

Well, we're on week 3 of school around our house.  Things are going better than expected.  Ren is getting along really well at school and making lots of new friends.  All of which are girls.  He's constantly telling us about this pretty little girl, or that pretty girl.  I think I *may* have a ladies man on my hands.  Help me now...lol!

A though, is still struggling.  She came home the other day and complained she was bored.  I ask her why she felt that way and she said "because I already know all the stuff we keep doing Mommy".  Uh oh.  Not a good way to begin your school career.  Thinking it is boring.  I do know that starting this week, things are going to change a little.  She is going to start some new things, so hopefully this "boring" phase will end.

The real reason for the title though, is she has been coming home complaining about a little boy.  According to her, "he's mean".  He throws away her things, literally.  He grabbed her hand and took off her silly band ring and threw it away.  What?!?  She also said he's pushed her down in the hallway, throws her art work (that is in her cubby at school) in the garbage and says naughty things to her.  I ask her if she was mean to him and she said "no Mommy.  I'm nice to everyone because that's how to be a friend".  Thankfully that lesson has sunk in!  I have ask if she has said anything to her teacher and she said "yes".  I then ask if he ever gets put into the time out area for doing these things and she said "sometimes". 

My question to you wise parents, is this bullying?  Do I say something to her teacher as well?  Could there be more to the story than this that she isn't telling me about?  A is a very helpful, bright girl and in the past week she's been moody (although I think she's still adjusting to school in general), and just not her chatty, happy self.  Can this really start in Kindergarten?  Am I reading into this too much?  Advice please and thank you!


  1. It never hurts to request a conference with the teacher. Don't let it fester. The teacher may be able to give insight to what is going on and ease your mind at the same time. It also allows teacher to keep a better eye on the situation also - she may not know it's going on! I say call the teacher - and that's coming from a teacher ; )

  2. I would contact her teacher for sure. It is important for her to see you stand up for her when she can't do it herself. Also, chances are he is doing this to other children. I hope this gets resolved soon!

  3. I would definitely contact the teacher with your concerns. Just explain what has been happening - sometimes the teachers don't see everything going on. If you make her more aware of the situation things will probably improve. Your poor little one - nothing breaks your heart more than watching your child go through pain. :(

  4. I had a bully in middle school for almost 3 years. I can say from experience that it should be nipped in the bud. Contact her teacher, the guidance counselor, the principal, the media, whomever it takes to make it stop. While I was older when I was bullied, it wrecked my self esteem and my ability to make new friends. I went from having lots of friends and being an open person to being a closed mouthed lonely wall flower. My stance may sound extreme to some, but I have a zero tolerance attitude when it comes to bullying. (when i say contact whomever, i mean start with teacher and escalate up the ranks if you do not get results.) I've known A since you told me you were preggers and if I still lived close, I would hunt down the boys parents and pitch a fit. A is too sweet a child and I would hate to see her spirit crushed by some yahoo's that can't parent!

  5. I would touch base with the teacher. I am not convinced it is bullying - but sounds more like a case of a wild child. Especially in Kgarten - kids arrive at all different stages of social readiness. If this little guy has been a wild one - AND has had a parent who didn't know how to channel all that energy, he could very well be acting like that because he doesn't have the ability to calm down and be still. Giving the teacher a heads up will let him or her monitor the situation. Hang in there.