Kandi's Confessions ~~ The 'oh snap it's Monday' edition

Okay everyone.  I'm not going to even sugar coat it.  I just haven't been in the mood to write lately.  It's not for lack of things to say or write about.  It's that instead of writing about life, I've been out living it.  In other words, it's been busy around here.  It's only going to get a little busier as the holiday season fully kicks off.  Although, I'm not one of those people who rushes Christmas.  I wait until Thanksgiving has come and gone to put up the tree or any type of decoration.  Call me weird, but I think that big ole turkey deserves his season as well.  :)

So, here's my confessions.

• I have 2 posts to write for this week.  Both are product reviews and I'm really excited about them both.


• Last week was exhausting.  Mentally.


• Fall festival was held at A's school last week.  It was a lot of fun and reminds me of why I'm thankful I'm not the PTO President.  I do not want that kind of pressure.


• Ren's soccer team came in 2nd place in our area tournament last weekend.  This weekend we headed to Cincinnati for the state soccer tournament.  His team lost in the first round, but I'm so happy for those boys.  They played a great season.  Thankfully, Ren has decided to officially hang up his cleats and retire from soccer.


• I've had conferences for two of the three kids at their schools.  Both are doing very well and are well above where they should be.  I'm thankful we took time when they were small(er) to read to them, teach them, and make education a priority.


• Chuck lost his grandfather over the weekend.  He was a sad, but he didn't really know him.


• The crazy part about the loss of his grandfather was his Mom's confusion.  She called and told him on Saturday and then mentioned she wasn't going to the services.  Chuck ask why and she didn't really give an answer.  That wasn't enough for me and when I ask her she said it was because he passes last week and had already been buried.  Then we find out that no, his grandfather actually passed on Friday and services are this week.  His Mom's confusion is getting worse and worse.  Heck, she hadn't even mentioned the passing to Chuck's brother, with whom she shares a home.  I want to step in so badly, but don't feel it's my place.


• This morning I'm quite thankful that we started the 3 gifts for Christmas rule when the kids were smaller.  I've already heard people complaining about their kids having the "I wants".  Mine have them too, but more defined.  They know exactly what they want and have already made ti known.  Now to figure out how to get the money to pay for it.  LOL.  The have expensive tastes this year.


• I have been fighting the urge to be a snarky biotch lately.  It's a mind of mouth game.  The mind is winning right now.


• Ren's behavior has been awful lately.  We aren't sure what to do.  I think we need to go back to therapy, but our new insurance makes it impossibly expensive.  Like $100 a visit expensive.  That may not seem like a lot until you factor in that he was going weekly and A was going to help with her short term memory loss.  Our monthly bill could easily be $600 a month.  That's a lot!  Insurance makes me crazy (and I've been on the 'professional' side of this issue too and it's just as frustrating from their point of view).


• In other news, A starts going to the orthodontist in January.  This should be fun.


• Chuck told Ren the other day that if he didn't brush his teeth better that his teeth would fall out.  Well, he lost a baby tooth a day or two after this chat and got very upset.  On the plus side, he brushed his teeth better than usual the rest of the week.  (Side note:  We allow our kids to brush their teeth on their own and use a timer to make sure they are brushing for an adequate amount of time.  We then go and 'check' their teeth.  We want them to learn good habits and the skills to do it themselves, but we also want to assure they have clean mouths and teeth).

Well, I think that's all for today.  I wish you all a good week!

Teaching commitment, how far should we go?

Chuck and I are in the middle of a disagreement.  Not a terrible one.  Just a small one that we both have views on.  This disagreement is different in that we can also see the point of view of the other person and it's valid as well.  Here goes:

Ren is playing soccer.  He just doesn't like it this year.  However, we told him he must finish out the season and follow through on the commitment he made to us and his team.  Once the season ends, he no longer has to play.  He has already decided that this season will be his last.  We're okay with that.  He is ready to try something else and t-ball is right up his alley.  He has terrific hand/eye coordination!

The dilemma and conflict sets in here.  Our typical SAY soccer season has ended.  CS was finished 3 weeks ago and A played her last tournament game 2 weekends ago.  Ren's team, well, they are pretty awesome.  They qualified for the area tournament which had them playing SAY teams from the surrounding communities.  That started 2 weekends ago and carried over into this past weekend.  He played the semi-final game and the finals (against the only other team from our community to go to this tournament).  These last two games were in the rain and it was frigid.  He. was. unhappy.  After the semi-final win, it was mentioned that the team has qualified to go to the state tournament.  Wait, what?!?

There is another small, side issue to Ren's soccer season worth mentioning.  Ren didn't play to his fullest this year because he was just over it all.  This has brought on ridicule and general meanness from a few of the boys on the team.  He has been told by the other kids that he is 'stupid, an awful player, the reason why they lose, among other things".  We did bring it up to the coach and he chatted with the boys in question, but things still get said out of earshot of the coaches.  Ren's self esteem is suffering and for a kid that already deals with being different, this isn't helping.

Back to the "his team is going to state tournament" issue.  We are divided on what to do.  On one hand, we feel he needs to see his commitment through to the end.  I mean, he may not be the best player on the team, but he does try hard and helps out.  He has been to every practice and even sat on the sidelines and cheered when he was out due to pneumonia.  He was committed to his team and has celebrated each victory (and two losses) with the rest of the team.

On the other hand, he is so over soccer.  He missed his sister's birthday party this weekend because of tournament games and that tore his heart apart.  Thankfully, he had a small 'window' between games and he and Chuck rushed home to help sing "Happy Birthday" and grab a cupcake.  We also have this issue with the kid who has said something to him.  We believe this child is only repeating what he has heard someone else say, but we are unsure of this.  We just have a hard time believing a 6 year old could come up with those things on his own.  I will be chatting with the coach again this week and I'm also taking it to the next level and pulling the parents aside as well.  It's also cold and Ren has already had pneumonia during this season.  I'm not sure I want to risk him getting sick again.

We don't have the details yet as to what "state tournament" requires, but we aren't sure Ren will be participating.  We want to chat with the coach and see what he feels.  We ask Ren about it and he just wants to stop now.  I think he needs to follow through and finish the season.  Chuck says to chat with the coach and allow him to step aside.

What are your suggestions?

Kandi's Confessions ~ The I'm lazy because it's raining edition

Yes, you read that correctly.  It's raining.  This morning after the older two left for school and hubs left for work, CS and I snuggled back up in "Mommy and Daddy's big bed" and took a 2 1/2 hour nap.  I feel wonderful, but behind in what I had planned out for today.  Anyway, onto the confessing.

• Have you entered our Girls Crochet Headbands giveaway yet?  You haven't?  Well, head over and enter here.  Trust me, they are too cute NOT to get some!  I ordered some for both my girls and cannot wait to get them!


• Yesterday it was 80 degrees in Ohio.  It's been really nice all week actually.  Then today it has rained and it's only about 50 degrees.  Fall in Ohio is wonky.


• I mention the weather because I really would have enjoyed it staying warm for 2 more days.  Sadly, soccer tournaments tomorrow will be freezing.  The high for the whole day will only be around 55 or so.  Layers and more layers!


• We had an impromptu photography session last evening.  A lot of the pictures came out great.  Some not so much.  Hubs still isn't great at focusing.  However, we let A take a few pics of just hubs and I.  She did a good job for a 7 year old!


• Speaking of pictures, my camera is failing.  It's a FujiFilm Finepix that's about 4+ years old.  I have used it.  A lot.  Now when I zoom there is a scratching sound and it takes longer to get the picture in focus.  Basically, I've used it so much that it's about to die.


• I really want an SLR camera.  I took a couple of photography classes in college and have gotten to play with that type of camera in the past.  I really want one, but the cost is not budget friendly.  Especially for those who are not using it for money making reasons.  I have started a fund for this one (like I did my FujiFilm), but it may take a few years to get all the money saved.  That's the downside and positive side of a cash only budget.  You may want something, but you need to save to purchase it.  No impulse buying on credit!


• We have soccer tournaments this weekend and then we are officially done with soccer for the year.  Yay!  Bring on baton lessons, swim, karate and preparing for Select soccer.  I'm tired thinking about it.


• I'm attempting to make sweet and sour pork from scratch tonight.  I hope it goes well.


• My cousin got married today.  I'm so excited for both of them.  They are great people and have been together for a long time.  Yay!


• CS turned 5 yesterday.  I cannot believe she's 5!  She is a pretty happy little girl though.  She got an Our Generation doll from Target and several outfits for her new doll as well.  So far she's received $30 in cash for her birthday and is telling anyone who will listen that she's rich.  How I wish $30 in hand meant I was rich!

Well, I think that's it.  This has taken a while to write but distractions, phone calls, door knocks, and a grocery run interrupted.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

My girls recently attended a birthday party at a local paint your own pottery place.

Check out the information about the location in this Family Friendly Cincinnati post.

Here are some of the creations by the kids at the party.

Aren't they great!

The world really isn't against you.

The world really isn't against you.  Just saying.  I know it may seem like it is.  Or even better, that someone is out to get you.  What it really is is lack of training.



You may be wondering what that is about.  It happened again this weekend.  A's soccer coach got into a shouting match with the other coach and the referee's.  This time over what should have been a really awesome play in which someone unfortunately got injured.  It was an accident.  I was sitting right in front of it and saw the whole thing.  The coaches were at an angle, so to them it may have looked intentional.

A girl from our team was dribbling the ball up the field and she was flying.  I've never seen her move so fast.  She got close to the goal and started to shoot the ball.  At the exact same time the little girl playing goalie dove for the ball.  I'm sure you can draw a conclusion from here, but I'll play it out for you anyhow.  So, our player is moving quickly.  She saw the goalie dive and tried to stop, but couldn't.  Our player ran smack into the goalie and they both tumbled.  The goalie got stepped on and I know that hurts!  However, because of this the goalie also dropped the ball and another player of ours tried to score.  This is when everyone got all uppity.

The goalie was crying because she was hurt.  The little one who ran into her was upset that she had hurt someone.  The girl who had tried to score the ball after it was dropped was in tears also.  The refs were not there.  It was annoying.

Obviously the coaches were upset with the refs and that progressed to a shouting match.  Our coach pulled all the girls off of the field and threatened to not allow the girls to play.  Other things were said and that's when parents started arguing on the sidelines.

Let me just say right here that Chuck and I were NOT part of that.  Why?  Well, we hold ourselves to a higher standard.  Not to mention that we have a daughter that plays goalie a lot.  These types of incidents are more common than I'd like to admit or watch.  Especially when you have an aggressive keeper who isn't afraid to get run over or kicked.  Our daughter falls into this category and had a giant bruise on her cheek at the beginning of the season to prove it.  The bruise was from a cleat to the cheek.

The point to the beginning of this is that someone at some point said, "It's been this way all season for (my daughter's team) and they are out to get us".  Seriously?  I doubt that.  I mean, they may not like or appreciate all the fussing from the coach, but I doubt they are going to blame a bunch of 6,7 and 8 year old girls for it.  If anything, all the fussing and arguing probable turned some parents and kids away from the sport all together.  We have had big learning sessions from this game and the one I wrote about here.  It's been a rough season, but there have been good and bad lessons to be learned.
Make sure the referee's have proper training.  We had several excellent referee's and they knew their stuff.  I'm talking 6th and 7th grade kids.  The high school kids just didn't seem to give a rats patoot either way.I'm no expert in soccer and I don't claim to be, but here is what I saw as a problem this season.  I hope that in the off season the local SAY board will change a few rules and ways of handling things.

1. If a coach, parent, referee drops the F-bomb in front of any players they should be ejected from the game.  In the case of a ref or coach, they should not be allowed to be around those kids again.  I don't care who you are or if your parents sit on the soccer board.


2. There should be at least one adult referee per game.  In my observations, two young kids can get intimidated by the adult coaches and parents.  I never heard of an adult ref being questioned all season long.


3. Whistles.  They aren't just for show people.  Use them!


4. Yelling at kids this age scares them more than helps them.  Some cry very easily and will cry even if you are just trying to get them to focus.


5. Parents; we sign a contract at the beginning of the season stating that we read and will abide by SAY rules.  Did you actually read them or just sign and hand back the form?  In our house, we read them.  We also take them seriously.  Good sportsmanship relies on this.  Parents should NEVER cause a child to cry or be mean a player.  End of story.


6. At this age, soccer is about fun.  Heck, SAY's slogan is "Kids Having Fun".  Honest to goodness my favorite team to watch this season was the one in last place for the boys division.  Know why?  They played.  They played well and learned fundamentals.  They also had a lot of fun and a coach who didn't yell at them or was extremely competitive.  He would literally sit in a chair on the sidelines and direct.  I never heard a negative word out of his mouth.  Ever.


7. Finally, if your kid just doesn't like the sport, don't make them play.  Now, that's different than making them finish a season.  Ren just wasn't into soccer this year.  He isn't competitive by nature and this season just didn't suit him well.  Don't get me wrong, his team did fantastic and qualified for the area wide tournament.  He just doesn't like soccer as well as he used to.  No big deal.  We told him he must finish the season, but that he didn't have to play after this season if he didn't want to.  He's decided to hang up his cleats.  We support that decision.

All together, I'm thankful this season is wrapping up.  CS had a great season!  Her coach was great!  The parents were wonderful and the kids were so much fun to watch.  Ren's team won 2nd place and is going to the larger of the two tournaments in our area.  A's team, well, they qualified for the smaller of the tournaments.  I'm just hoping this one doesn't turn out like the last one.  I can't take anymore soccer drama.  My drama meter is tapped out.