Teaching commitment, how far should we go?

Chuck and I are in the middle of a disagreement.  Not a terrible one.  Just a small one that we both have views on.  This disagreement is different in that we can also see the point of view of the other person and it's valid as well.  Here goes:

Ren is playing soccer.  He just doesn't like it this year.  However, we told him he must finish out the season and follow through on the commitment he made to us and his team.  Once the season ends, he no longer has to play.  He has already decided that this season will be his last.  We're okay with that.  He is ready to try something else and t-ball is right up his alley.  He has terrific hand/eye coordination!

The dilemma and conflict sets in here.  Our typical SAY soccer season has ended.  CS was finished 3 weeks ago and A played her last tournament game 2 weekends ago.  Ren's team, well, they are pretty awesome.  They qualified for the area tournament which had them playing SAY teams from the surrounding communities.  That started 2 weekends ago and carried over into this past weekend.  He played the semi-final game and the finals (against the only other team from our community to go to this tournament).  These last two games were in the rain and it was frigid.  He. was. unhappy.  After the semi-final win, it was mentioned that the team has qualified to go to the state tournament.  Wait, what?!?

There is another small, side issue to Ren's soccer season worth mentioning.  Ren didn't play to his fullest this year because he was just over it all.  This has brought on ridicule and general meanness from a few of the boys on the team.  He has been told by the other kids that he is 'stupid, an awful player, the reason why they lose, among other things".  We did bring it up to the coach and he chatted with the boys in question, but things still get said out of earshot of the coaches.  Ren's self esteem is suffering and for a kid that already deals with being different, this isn't helping.

Back to the "his team is going to state tournament" issue.  We are divided on what to do.  On one hand, we feel he needs to see his commitment through to the end.  I mean, he may not be the best player on the team, but he does try hard and helps out.  He has been to every practice and even sat on the sidelines and cheered when he was out due to pneumonia.  He was committed to his team and has celebrated each victory (and two losses) with the rest of the team.

On the other hand, he is so over soccer.  He missed his sister's birthday party this weekend because of tournament games and that tore his heart apart.  Thankfully, he had a small 'window' between games and he and Chuck rushed home to help sing "Happy Birthday" and grab a cupcake.  We also have this issue with the kid who has said something to him.  We believe this child is only repeating what he has heard someone else say, but we are unsure of this.  We just have a hard time believing a 6 year old could come up with those things on his own.  I will be chatting with the coach again this week and I'm also taking it to the next level and pulling the parents aside as well.  It's also cold and Ren has already had pneumonia during this season.  I'm not sure I want to risk him getting sick again.

We don't have the details yet as to what "state tournament" requires, but we aren't sure Ren will be participating.  We want to chat with the coach and see what he feels.  We ask Ren about it and he just wants to stop now.  I think he needs to follow through and finish the season.  Chuck says to chat with the coach and allow him to step aside.

What are your suggestions?

Kandi's Confessions ~ The I'm lazy because it's raining edition

Yes, you read that correctly.  It's raining.  This morning after the older two left for school and hubs left for work, CS and I snuggled back up in "Mommy and Daddy's big bed" and took a 2 1/2 hour nap.  I feel wonderful, but behind in what I had planned out for today.  Anyway, onto the confessing.

• Have you entered our Girls Crochet Headbands giveaway yet?  You haven't?  Well, head over and enter here.  Trust me, they are too cute NOT to get some!  I ordered some for both my girls and cannot wait to get them!


• Yesterday it was 80 degrees in Ohio.  It's been really nice all week actually.  Then today it has rained and it's only about 50 degrees.  Fall in Ohio is wonky.


• I mention the weather because I really would have enjoyed it staying warm for 2 more days.  Sadly, soccer tournaments tomorrow will be freezing.  The high for the whole day will only be around 55 or so.  Layers and more layers!


• We had an impromptu photography session last evening.  A lot of the pictures came out great.  Some not so much.  Hubs still isn't great at focusing.  However, we let A take a few pics of just hubs and I.  She did a good job for a 7 year old!


• Speaking of pictures, my camera is failing.  It's a FujiFilm Finepix that's about 4+ years old.  I have used it.  A lot.  Now when I zoom there is a scratching sound and it takes longer to get the picture in focus.  Basically, I've used it so much that it's about to die.


• I really want an SLR camera.  I took a couple of photography classes in college and have gotten to play with that type of camera in the past.  I really want one, but the cost is not budget friendly.  Especially for those who are not using it for money making reasons.  I have started a fund for this one (like I did my FujiFilm), but it may take a few years to get all the money saved.  That's the downside and positive side of a cash only budget.  You may want something, but you need to save to purchase it.  No impulse buying on credit!


• We have soccer tournaments this weekend and then we are officially done with soccer for the year.  Yay!  Bring on baton lessons, swim, karate and preparing for Select soccer.  I'm tired thinking about it.


• I'm attempting to make sweet and sour pork from scratch tonight.  I hope it goes well.


• My cousin got married today.  I'm so excited for both of them.  They are great people and have been together for a long time.  Yay!


• CS turned 5 yesterday.  I cannot believe she's 5!  She is a pretty happy little girl though.  She got an Our Generation doll from Target and several outfits for her new doll as well.  So far she's received $30 in cash for her birthday and is telling anyone who will listen that she's rich.  How I wish $30 in hand meant I was rich!

Well, I think that's it.  This has taken a while to write but distractions, phone calls, door knocks, and a grocery run interrupted.  Have a great weekend everyone!

The world really isn't against you.

The world really isn't against you.  Just saying.  I know it may seem like it is.  Or even better, that someone is out to get you.  What it really is is lack of training.



You may be wondering what that is about.  It happened again this weekend.  A's soccer coach got into a shouting match with the other coach and the referee's.  This time over what should have been a really awesome play in which someone unfortunately got injured.  It was an accident.  I was sitting right in front of it and saw the whole thing.  The coaches were at an angle, so to them it may have looked intentional.

A girl from our team was dribbling the ball up the field and she was flying.  I've never seen her move so fast.  She got close to the goal and started to shoot the ball.  At the exact same time the little girl playing goalie dove for the ball.  I'm sure you can draw a conclusion from here, but I'll play it out for you anyhow.  So, our player is moving quickly.  She saw the goalie dive and tried to stop, but couldn't.  Our player ran smack into the goalie and they both tumbled.  The goalie got stepped on and I know that hurts!  However, because of this the goalie also dropped the ball and another player of ours tried to score.  This is when everyone got all uppity.

The goalie was crying because she was hurt.  The little one who ran into her was upset that she had hurt someone.  The girl who had tried to score the ball after it was dropped was in tears also.  The refs were not there.  It was annoying.

Obviously the coaches were upset with the refs and that progressed to a shouting match.  Our coach pulled all the girls off of the field and threatened to not allow the girls to play.  Other things were said and that's when parents started arguing on the sidelines.

Let me just say right here that Chuck and I were NOT part of that.  Why?  Well, we hold ourselves to a higher standard.  Not to mention that we have a daughter that plays goalie a lot.  These types of incidents are more common than I'd like to admit or watch.  Especially when you have an aggressive keeper who isn't afraid to get run over or kicked.  Our daughter falls into this category and had a giant bruise on her cheek at the beginning of the season to prove it.  The bruise was from a cleat to the cheek.

The point to the beginning of this is that someone at some point said, "It's been this way all season for (my daughter's team) and they are out to get us".  Seriously?  I doubt that.  I mean, they may not like or appreciate all the fussing from the coach, but I doubt they are going to blame a bunch of 6,7 and 8 year old girls for it.  If anything, all the fussing and arguing probable turned some parents and kids away from the sport all together.  We have had big learning sessions from this game and the one I wrote about here.  It's been a rough season, but there have been good and bad lessons to be learned.
Make sure the referee's have proper training.  We had several excellent referee's and they knew their stuff.  I'm talking 6th and 7th grade kids.  The high school kids just didn't seem to give a rats patoot either way.I'm no expert in soccer and I don't claim to be, but here is what I saw as a problem this season.  I hope that in the off season the local SAY board will change a few rules and ways of handling things.

1. If a coach, parent, referee drops the F-bomb in front of any players they should be ejected from the game.  In the case of a ref or coach, they should not be allowed to be around those kids again.  I don't care who you are or if your parents sit on the soccer board.


2. There should be at least one adult referee per game.  In my observations, two young kids can get intimidated by the adult coaches and parents.  I never heard of an adult ref being questioned all season long.


3. Whistles.  They aren't just for show people.  Use them!


4. Yelling at kids this age scares them more than helps them.  Some cry very easily and will cry even if you are just trying to get them to focus.


5. Parents; we sign a contract at the beginning of the season stating that we read and will abide by SAY rules.  Did you actually read them or just sign and hand back the form?  In our house, we read them.  We also take them seriously.  Good sportsmanship relies on this.  Parents should NEVER cause a child to cry or be mean a player.  End of story.


6. At this age, soccer is about fun.  Heck, SAY's slogan is "Kids Having Fun".  Honest to goodness my favorite team to watch this season was the one in last place for the boys division.  Know why?  They played.  They played well and learned fundamentals.  They also had a lot of fun and a coach who didn't yell at them or was extremely competitive.  He would literally sit in a chair on the sidelines and direct.  I never heard a negative word out of his mouth.  Ever.


7. Finally, if your kid just doesn't like the sport, don't make them play.  Now, that's different than making them finish a season.  Ren just wasn't into soccer this year.  He isn't competitive by nature and this season just didn't suit him well.  Don't get me wrong, his team did fantastic and qualified for the area wide tournament.  He just doesn't like soccer as well as he used to.  No big deal.  We told him he must finish the season, but that he didn't have to play after this season if he didn't want to.  He's decided to hang up his cleats.  We support that decision.

All together, I'm thankful this season is wrapping up.  CS had a great season!  Her coach was great!  The parents were wonderful and the kids were so much fun to watch.  Ren's team won 2nd place and is going to the larger of the two tournaments in our area.  A's team, well, they qualified for the smaller of the tournaments.  I'm just hoping this one doesn't turn out like the last one.  I can't take anymore soccer drama.  My drama meter is tapped out.

Kandi's Confessions ~ This has been a weird week edition

This has been a weird week for me.  Here's why:

• I took CS for her 5 year check-up and while there found out she has walking pneumonia.  This kid has said nothing and shown no signs of being sick.  I was shocked.  I also felt like the world's worst Mom.  Why didn't I see something different?


• Did you know that without a cell phone you lose contact with lots of friends?  I guess it's the whole "everybody texts" thing.  All I know is that it's going to be a bit before a cell bill can fit into our budget, so it's back to landline only for me.  My nice iPhone is now a glorified iPod Touch.


• The biggest downfall to no cell/texting is that I've heard nothing from the kids soccer coaches all week.  I took Ren to practice on Tuesday, but it had obviously been cancelled.  Ditto with A on Wednesday.  Any idea what it's like to prepare a fast dinner from scratch, eat, rush to get soccer gear on, rush to the practice fields and only then find out you're the only car in the parking lot?  Yeah...


• I went through my super old blog over the weekend and read stories about house hunting and the kids.  I started writing that blog before CS was even born, so it was a time warp.  I also shared too much information about my kids names and where we lived, etc.  Thankfully it's a private blog now, so no one can see unless you ask.


• We deviated from our normal weeknight routine this week.  That won't happen again.  The whole family was out of sorts and they blamed me.  Obviously we are all type-A.  haha.


• I feel guilty when I don't post for a few days.


• I have found a new show that I love.  It's on PBS and called "Call the Midwife".  Love it!


• Chuck's family added a new baby last night.  Congrats to the new parents!  He's such a cutie!


• I've gotten 2 of my 3 kids school pictures back.  Ren's are great and he suddenly looks so much older.  A's are good too, sort of.  She popped her fake smile on her face and the photographer snapped the picture.  A has a good fake smile, but her real smile is so wonderful!  Her real smile has dimples on her cheeks and a cleft in her chin.  None of those things show in her fake smile.  I ask her why she pulled out the fake and she said because it was only a 'school picture' and doesn't matter.  Guess she didn't realize I was going to hang it on the wall.  :)


• CS and her bff got to hang out this week.  Those two girls are a force when together.  Look out world, they will charm you!


• It was a big birthday week around here.  A's bff and CS's bbff (boy best friend forever) both celebrated birthday's.


• Next week CS turns 5.  I looked at her today and wondered how she got to 5 so quickly.


• Best quote of my week, thanks to CS was "Mommy, you're my favorite creature".  Thanks to Disney and the Octonauts!

Well, I think that's it.  This is our final weekend of regular season soccer and then it's on to tournaments.  We will also be heading to HallZOOween this weekend and that should be loads of fun!  Have a terrific fall weekend!

Kandi's Confessions

This week I confess:

• I have the meanest husband ever.  Seriously.  He bought tickets to something for our anniversary and then, instead of putting them somewhere to hide, sealed them in an envelope and put them on the bookshelf.  I walk by that thing a thousand times a day.  I have no idea what's in it.  He did it on purpose and for that, he is mean.


• Actually I'm pretty excited about whatever is in the envelope.  I cannot wait until our anniversary to open it.  Oh, and he's really not mean.  He just likes to surprise me.  I'm so spoiled.  I know this!


• CS has been really clingy this week.  I'm not sure why, but she has.  I'm not complaining though.  I genuinely like hanging out with my kids.


• We started soccer full force this week.  Between each of the kids, we have practice every single day!


• Speaking of soccer, I tweeted the picture below yesterday.  A wasn't crying, she just had water in her eyes.  Why did  she have water in her eyes?  The US Women's soccer team won gold.  I love that she has been inspired by these great roll models.  In the pic below she was watching the gold medal ceremony.  She played with the soccer ball the whole time the game was on.


• 


• I totally passed off purchased pizza as homemade last night.  I don't think they bought it, but I tried hard.  I just didn't have the time or energy to cook.  I did pair it with a salad and fresh fruit for balance.


• I have gotten really crafty this past week.  It's my go-to when things get stressful and out of my control.  With crafting I can focus all my energy on doing something for me (or others in this case).

Well, I think I'm done for this week.  I know they were short, but we've been busy.  Besides, I need to get things ready for today.  I'm taking the kids to the Zoo for one last hurrah before school starts next week.  Have a great weekend everyone!

*Almost* Wordless Wednesday

A's soccer team is undefeated this season.

In fact, the other team rarely gets to even score.

So, being goalie on her team is lonely.

Guess who had that position last game?

She was so bored she was yawning.

However, she sure looks cute in that goalie shirt!

My new balancing act

I have a friend from high school that is the most organized person I've ever met!  Especially when it comes to her kids schedules.  She has 4 children ranging in age from 14 to 2.  Exception to the 2 year old, all of her kids are in numerous activities and extracurriculars.  I've always watched and listened from afar to her lament about having to take this on e to practice and then pick this one up from another practice somewhere else, only to turn around and go pick up the first one.  Then home for dinner, baths, homework, family time and bed.  This woman does it all!  I've always commented that one day I may get a taste of what that's like and she just giggles.  She follows that statement up with "it will happen sooner than you think".  Well, it's happening.  Now to be exact.

This is the first year we have 2 kids in sports, both are playing soccer.  That is fine, really it is.  I'm quite thankful they both chose the same sport.  The problem lies in that they both practice on the same day, 1/2 hour apart at different parks within our city.  One is age 6, the other 5, so leaving someone at practice by themselves isn't optional.  Argh!  See the dilemma?   Chuck and I think we've figured it out, but what about the nights one of us has something else to do?  Then it gets complicated quickly.

Now soccer practice is only one of the newest things to appear on my schedule this fall.  The other is Tuesday School, story time, and preschool nature walks.  All of those involve CS only.  She and I will be busy this fall!  Thankfully, all of these things happen while the older two are in school.  A bit of reprieve for Mom!  Yay!

Oh and let's not forget therapy.  Thankfully though, that is on the same day, same time, bi-weekly.  This makes my life a bit easier.

My old routine is definitely going to be updated soon!  My head is still reeling from all the new additions (and I don't have game schedules yet...yikes!).  I will be sitting down next week to hammer out the new days for cleaning, laundry and other normal activities.  I'm also adding a day of bulk cooking in there because I don't think a busy schedule is an excuse for dinner out.  Bulk cooking should help with this!  Although, I think I'm going to have to return to my college days for all of this by making a spreadsheet and blocking out times for certain activities.  Then again, maybe everything will just fall into place and work out on its own.  Oh, who am I kidding?!?!

Is your schedule looking crazy this fall?  If so, how do you plan on making sure everyone is where they need to be on time?  Or that everything is done?  Do you have a favorite system for planning?  I'll take any and all advice on this subject!