Mulch in my pants.

Well, pant-ies is more like it.  Now, before you gutter-minds go there, I promise this is NOT an X-rated post.  Not by a long shot.

Think Sophia from The Golden Girls---

• Picture it.  2011.  I was on my way to drop CS off at Meemaw's house.  Suddenly I get a terrible itch somewhere odd.  I walk CS into Meemaw's house and the itching stops.  Then I go get back into the van to take Ren to therapy.  Halfway there and I start getting a stabbing sensation in the same place the itch had been before. 


• So, we get to therapy and Ren goes in.  I (for lack of a better way to put it), try to sit with this awkward half itch half stab pain in my butt patiently in the waiting room.  For an hour!  With no access to a bathroom anywhere. 


• Now, we are heading home and the pain is completely gone.  Itch too.  I thought I was nuts.  Honestly.  I don't feel pain often, so it was weird.  I stop and pick up CS and we head home.  Then it happens.  What went through my mind was "What in the heck is itching me so badly".  I mean, itches on butts are NOT something common....at least I hope not.


• I get home and go tearing into the bathroom.  (Sorry, graphic info ahead...you've been warned)  I pull down my pants and a freaking sliver of mulch is sticking through my panties.  NO KIDDING!  How it got there is anyone's guess, but the kids and I were throwing snowballs at each other before we left so it's possible that's how it got into my pants.

Now you know how I got mulch in my pants.  I'm not above a little self deprication so someone else can get a giggle.  Hope you enjoyed it.  My panties, on the other hand, are now toast....LOL.