This summer was awful. Terrible. I would rank it up there with one of my least favorite summers ever. There are a number of reasons. Many are trivial and silly, but they were reasons nonetheless.
That being said, my reality is back! My schedule, routine, predictable days are back again. You have no idea how happy this makes me.
I had a really rough summer emotionally. I'm not going to sugar coat it. There were days when I just couldn't get out of bed. I was worried. Chuck was worried. Andrea was worried. So, I relented and went to the doctor (after our new insurance started because otherwise we would have been broke). I was told that I had a mild case of depression, but no drugs were needed. It wasn't a surprise, but then again it was. The only time I've had depressive symptoms was after having Ren and long ago when I miscarried. Both times were hormonal based. This time, it wasn't. This was my funk.
After the visit to the doc, I did a little 'soul searching'. I realized that I was allowing Chuck's weird work schedule, the kids misbehavior, and lack of a routine really get to me. My diet had suffered. I had gained back almost 8 pounds that I'd fought so hard to lose. I needed to find myself and quick. Which I have, sort of.
I have been changing things. Going back to what I know works. I got rid of all the 'junk' food in the house. I went on a mini shopping spree at the farmer's market. I've signed up to take a yoga class and zumba at the Y. I may have a new workout partner.
I took it upon myself to change things. I did it purposefully. I chose to not allow things beyond my control dictate my mood. I truly believe this has been my biggest issue. So many things changed this summer and well, I'm kind of a control freak. There I said it. It drives me bonkers when I can't control something.
Now that school has begun for the older two. CS heads to pre-k next week and I will have a grand total of 2 1/2 hours three days a week to myself. Life has returned to routine. School, soccer, gymnastics, working out, menu planning and all those things that make my life happy are back.
The best part? I haven't wanted to go back to bed since the changes. Well, let me clarify that. I haven't wanted to just curl up in bed and cry until I go to sleep.
I'm back to my reality...and it feels wonderful!