Life is unfair, so deal.

I've been at a cross road in blogging lately.  More often than not, I feel like I need to post about things that are happy, will make people smile, are promoting an event and the like.  As readership has grown with our little blog, I've felt like I need to censor myself more and more. 

Why am I feeling this way?  Well, when Andrea and I originally started blogging we did it to chat about our kids, lives and well, to vent in general.  This blog was someplace we could chat about how other people were bothering us and still be anonymous, sort of anyhow.  Fast forward and we have a LOT more readers, yet, I feel compelled to still write about things that bug me in general. 

It's couple time.  Date night.  Spending time together with your spouse or significant other. 

We don't get any.  Zero.  The last time Chuck and I had a night out was when we went to the Dayton Art Institute for an opening last fall.  It's very easy to say you need to schedule time for each other.  It's even easy to say we need to hire a sitter and just go out.  Both are "easy" in theory.  Reality is, it's not THAT easy.

We've tried various things.  The typical "date night" for us is tucking the kids in bed, popping popcorn and watching a movie in the living room.  While this is time well spent, I do still long for a night out.  Of course I'm whining here, it's what I do best ;-) 

While I'm well aware there are those who haven't had a date night with their spouse in several years, I wonder how people who do go out do it so often.  Here's why I'm wondering, and yes, it does come down to numbers.  A "typical" dinner in a nicer restaurant can cost around $50-$75.  Add to that a movie, $30 or so.  Not to mention paying a sitter, the average going rate is $10 per kid per hour and you see why it's hard for us to get out. Even a one hour "date" would cost us $30 off the top.   

So, why the title for this post?  Recently, I was talking to someone and that was their response to my issue.  Life is unfair, so deal.  You chose to have 3 kids, you chose to stay home and cut your yearly salary in half, so stop whining and deal.  I was shocked. I guess what truly bothered me is that they are in a similar situation, but still get date nights on a regular basis.  I was merely asking for advice on how they did it.  I wasn't going for a rude remark on my life.

So, in the spirit of optimism and trying to be positive (two things I've been working hard on for the last couple of years), I'm wondering if you would share your secrets to getting date night with your spouse or significant other.  I'm all ears, err, eyes(since I'll be reading it...haha).  Do you have a different way of doing a "staying in" date night?  Do you have date nights during the week to miss the crowds?  Do you have date afternoons to save a few bucks?

Selfish moods

Have you ever felt selfish?  Are you selfish by nature?  I know, tough questions from the get-go.  Lately, I've been pushing down some very selfish thoughts.

My first selfish thought has been time.  Alone time.  Me time.  I know, everyone needs some.  These last two stress filled weeks though, have had me craving alone time.  A LOT of alone time.  I have had thoughts throughout the day to just go lock myself in the bathroom and take a long bubble bath, ear plugs in, to drown out all the noise of my house.  Is this selfish?  Oh yeah, very.  Realistic?  Neh, and I'm okay with it. 

Another selfish thought running around in my mind is alone time with Chuck.  As any parent can tell you, spouse time is a precious commodity.  When had just A, it was easy to go out for "date night".  Then we added Ren and it got a little more difficult.  Top that off with CS and now we usually have to arrange two separate babysitters (because, to be honest, we have family members who don't like to watch Ren due to his "difficult-ness").  Arranging two sitters is a task to itself and most of the time we just don't arrange time for ourselves.  I just sometimes reminsce about the time when Chuck and I still had the freedom to go out whenever we please.  THAT is a very selfish thought! 

My final selfish thought has been sleep.  Yes, I know it's a common Mom complaint.  Typically, it doesn't bother me.  I've always been the one who could sleep 5 hours or less and be fine.  Recently (within the last year), I've become really, really tired!  To be honest, I catch cat naps whenever and wherever I can, just to try and win back some of those lost hours of sleep.  I also think my lack of sleep is contributing to my lack of energy.  So, why is this selfish?  Well, because on Saturdays when my kids wake up at their normal time of 7AM, the thought that runs through my head is "Dear Lord, please let them sleep.  I'm so exhausted and was up X amount of times last night with each one.  I need sleep".  That little prayer is selfish.  I shouldn't be praying for more sleep, instead I should be thanking God for 3 healthy little people who just woke up and can't wait to see their Mommy! 

Now, selfish being what it is, these are just thoughts and complaints of my own.  Will I ever get "me time"?  Sure, I just need to schedule it in somewhere.  Alone time with Chuck?  Yes, I'm sure we will get a date night at some point.  Oh, and the sleep issue.  Well, my motto is I will be able to catch up on sleep once they are all grown up.  To be extremely honest though, I'm not looking forward to that day at all.

So, do you have selfish thoughts?  Care to share?