Friday, March 18, 2011

Life is unfair, so deal.

I've been at a cross road in blogging lately.  More often than not, I feel like I need to post about things that are happy, will make people smile, are promoting an event and the like.  As readership has grown with our little blog, I've felt like I need to censor myself more and more. 

Why am I feeling this way?  Well, when Andrea and I originally started blogging we did it to chat about our kids, lives and well, to vent in general.  This blog was someplace we could chat about how other people were bothering us and still be anonymous, sort of anyhow.  Fast forward and we have a LOT more readers, yet, I feel compelled to still write about things that bug me in general. 

It's couple time.  Date night.  Spending time together with your spouse or significant other. 

We don't get any.  Zero.  The last time Chuck and I had a night out was when we went to the Dayton Art Institute for an opening last fall.  It's very easy to say you need to schedule time for each other.  It's even easy to say we need to hire a sitter and just go out.  Both are "easy" in theory.  Reality is, it's not THAT easy.

We've tried various things.  The typical "date night" for us is tucking the kids in bed, popping popcorn and watching a movie in the living room.  While this is time well spent, I do still long for a night out.  Of course I'm whining here, it's what I do best ;-) 

While I'm well aware there are those who haven't had a date night with their spouse in several years, I wonder how people who do go out do it so often.  Here's why I'm wondering, and yes, it does come down to numbers.  A "typical" dinner in a nicer restaurant can cost around $50-$75.  Add to that a movie, $30 or so.  Not to mention paying a sitter, the average going rate is $10 per kid per hour and you see why it's hard for us to get out. Even a one hour "date" would cost us $30 off the top.   

So, why the title for this post?  Recently, I was talking to someone and that was their response to my issue.  Life is unfair, so deal.  You chose to have 3 kids, you chose to stay home and cut your yearly salary in half, so stop whining and deal.  I was shocked. I guess what truly bothered me is that they are in a similar situation, but still get date nights on a regular basis.  I was merely asking for advice on how they did it.  I wasn't going for a rude remark on my life.

So, in the spirit of optimism and trying to be positive (two things I've been working hard on for the last couple of years), I'm wondering if you would share your secrets to getting date night with your spouse or significant other.  I'm all ears, err, eyes(since I'll be reading it...haha).  Do you have a different way of doing a "staying in" date night?  Do you have date nights during the week to miss the crowds?  Do you have date afternoons to save a few bucks?

1 comment:

  1. (Oh no, Cyndi's commenting again.) ;)

    Can I first say that the unfair part (in my opinion) is that you have three kids and I envy your dilmena. ;)

    Second, where the heck are you eating dinner??? J and I can go out for dinner and spend $20 or less and have a nice date night. (Add on some karaoke and alcohol and it's up to $40-50 though. I can't figure out how that happens.) We've eaten at McCormick's and Schmicks for less than $20 too. Gotta constantly be on the lookout for those dining deals! Oh and if people want to know what to get you and Chuck for your birthday, anniversary, Christmas, tell them restaurant gift cards. You'll get them.

    Third, I've said it before, I'll say it again, you and Chuck time needs to be a priority. In 10-15 years where will those kids be? Gone. (At least on a Friday/Saturday night.) The person who will still be there is the hubbers. Gotta keep that relationship fresh or you're sleeping next to a stranger after those 10-15 years. Obviously I'm not speaking from personal experience, but I've had way too many friends cry on my shoulder about focusing too much on their kids and not enough on their marriage. (Scares the crap out of me actually.)

    I'm sure finding the balance is difficult, but you're so focused on trying to figure it out, I have every confidence that you will.